Japor
by Kidan
Summary: Post DN3. Ben Skywalker is there as the Dagobah Exiles return to Ossus. Yet not everyone is happy. Soon after their arrival someone or something begins killing the Jedi.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

You wish to know what happened? Fine I will tell you. First let me set the stage, It had been about three years since the resolution of the Killik fiasco, and Adumar, Adumar was still two years off. But we're not here to talk about Adumar are we; you want to know about Tahiri. Like I said, it was about three years after the Killiks were dealt with that my Dad assembled the Jedi for a Concave. He felt it was an appropriate time to bring wayward Jedi home. Three Jedi in particular.

I could feel the tempestuous rolling in the Force as soon as the three Jedi stepped off the transport. After all, these particular Jedi had been exiled to Dagobah for years at that point. No one knew if they would accept the Council's wisdom, but Dad thought that with him calling another assemblage of the Jedi that it would be a good time to try and bring them back.

Dad is big on that forgiveness thing.

I barely remembered the three from before their exile, and I did not remember her at all. Not surprising, when you consider how much time she spent on Zonoma Sekot. All alone on Dagobah all those years, I wonder if it changed them. I'm sure if I asked Jaina then she could tell me, but it's not that important anymore.

I peered around my fellow padawans remembering not to wander to far from my Master, yet another point in my life that I was wishing that I was ever so slightly taller. If there is one thing that is bad about being a Skywalker, it is the height.

I looked back at my Master, I knew he was dubious on whether or not the time away had changed them, but it was not his decision to make. I remember the fervor with which he argued with Dad on this whole thing. He did not want them coming back, even now; were it possible I think Jacen would have them still on Dagobah.

Then I saw her. There was nothing specific that I noticed in that first sight, except her beauty. Later I would remember little details such as she was not wearing shoes and the three faint scars on her forehead. But at first, it was just the sheer wonder of seeing her. As she walked past us, she turned toward Jacen, and coolly greeted him. While they were exchanging their insults, thinly veiled as pleasantries, I just stared. I was, oh, thirteen at the time, which meant that she, was twenty-six almost twenty-seven, but that did not matter one bit to me. She was beautiful.

When I felt Jacen slightly push my back, I belatedly realize that he had introduced me and I was supposed to say something.

"Are you an angel?" is what tumbled out of my mouth, much to my horror. "I, I read about them, they are supposed to be the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy. They're from the moons of Iego I think."

Great, there she was, beautiful beyond belief, and I'm giving her a lesson in exobiology. At that point, I felt a twinge in Jacen's Force presence. I had assumed it was amusement at my stumbling.

"Aren't you a funny little boy?" Is what she replied.

Although it was spoken as a question, it was more of a statement of fact. I swiftly pulled the Force back in around me to ensure I did not broadcast the hurt I felt at her reply. I'm good at hiding in the Force.

I fell behind Jacen as we headed into the assembly. There was Dad looking serene and calm in his Jedi robes. I looked around, and saw her, just a few seats over, one row ahead. Everything about her seemed so, alive, her Force presence just radiated peace and compassion while at the same time nearly bubbling over with a, a vibrancy that I had never felt before. It was almost as amazing as her physical features. For the first time, I was glad I had the Force.

Keeping my own Force presence blanketed I probed her. I reveled in her presence. I did this, knowing neither my Master nor my Dad would be able to feel me probe her. Knowing full well I could do it to either of them, and they would not notice. I knew this from experience. As I said, I'm good at hiding in the Force.

Imagine my surprise when she turned to me and gave me a wink and a quick smile.

The horror I had felt at my brilliant comments to her earlier was a minor thing in comparison as I felt my checks start to burn and I slumped slightly lower in my chair. Of course I would do anything to get that smile turned on me again, the embarrassment of getting caught could not overshadow the joy that smile caused me.

I'm pretty sure some of that joy leaked out into the Force. I'm sure of this for two reasons; the first is that Tish, a female Rodian Padawan sitting a few seats down from me, suddenly giggled. Loudly. Secondly, I felt a twinge in Jacen's Force presence. Again, I assumed it was amusement this time due to my embarrassment.

As the assembly ended, I got up and made a dash for the door as fast as decorum allowed. After all, it wouldn't look good for my Dad if it was seen that even his son tries to run his way out of meetings, but I had something I wanted to do.

When I got home, I began digging through my boxes and belongings. I had remembered getting something on Naboo a few years earlier that I wanted to give her. At last I found it, I held it up and let the thin strip of leather which holds it play out.

A small intricately carved piece of Japor wood covered with curls and swooshes. Like a child's conception of a river. Japor is one of the few plants that can be found on Tatooine, and there is something about Tatooine which allows it to grow, which means that it cannot grow anywhere else. Back then a single pound of it could buy a new speeder bike. A desk made entirely from it could get you a brand new star cruiser. What this snippet was doing on Naboo, I have no clue, but the Force thrummed when I found it and I knew I had to get it.

When she winked at me that was when I knew why I had gotten it. It was to be a gift for her.

I rushed out to look for her, and found her sitting in one of the meditation gardens. She smiled as I approached, and once again I marveled at that bright beautiful smile.

"I have something to give you." I began as I held out the small wooden icon, "it will bring you good fortune."

"Wow Ben, It's beautiful." She then graced me with another of her smiles, as she moved to put it on.

I smiled in return and opened my mouth to say, "As are you." After all, I wanted to be smooth like Uncle Han. Well at least that is what I opened my mouth to say. Unfortunately that Skywalker luck struck again, for what came out was "I'm going to marry you."

I'm still not exactly sure what emotions crossed her face, but I could feel the pain that started rolling off her in the Force. I reached out to her as she took off at a run. The one word that I could understand as she ran off was "Ani."

Looking down I noticed a single drop of water on the stone pathway, shining slightly in the direct sunlight


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2 

I heard a sound behind me, and spun around, but all I saw was the flash of a robe as it hurried in the opposite direction. I reached out with the Force to sense who it was, but they were shielding to well, and truthfully, I was far more concerned with Tahiri at that point, so I turned to the direction she ran off, and started walking that way.

It was fairly easy to follow her; the pain she felt was a better guide than the stones in that old child's fairy tale. A brilliant red string in the Force, a jagged line which arched into the whites of sharp emotional pain fading through the reds until you got to the black of old depression.

The emotional scabbed I had picked open was a deep and old one.

I finally found her in the Grotto. The stone plinths that marked the passing of a Jedi towered over us as I looked over at her. She sat in front of a marble one, slightly rocking as she sobbed.

Here her pain washed over me in waves. I looked up to read the plinth that she was leaning against.

Even today I can remember what was engraved on that plinth:

"The deeds of heroes send ripples spreading through the Force. Anakin's life continues to flow outward, touching and guiding those who have yet to hear his name. Most of us here use the Force--this young man embodied it."

I reached out and touched her shoulder.

"Tahiri? Are you okay?"

She looked up at me with those eyes, which just an hour ago, held such mischief as she winked at me, now filled with such pain and loss. "Please, just go Ben. I…I just need some time alone."

I nodded my head, noticing that the little Japor icon was slipped around her neck, and turned and walked away. I briefly wrapped her in a Force hug, showing my love, acceptance and support, before pulling the Force back in around me, and shutting down.

As I walked away, I looked back over my shoulder to look at her once again. She was sitting in a classic Jedi meditation pose. Her eyes were closed, her breathing even, but still the tears fell. I almost ran back to her at that second.

What stopped me was the realization that I could do nothing. Yes I loved her, but to her, I was just a funny little boy.

Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if I had stayed, if my presence could have changed how things played out. Idle daydreams, what if. I've learned long since to understand that what is is.

It was early the next morning when Jacen found the body. I was just sitting down at first meal, when I felt Jacen's shock in the Force. I jumped up, and yelled for my parents to come, saying something along the lines that Jacen needed us.

I would like to tell you that I was worried and concerned about whatever could cause my Master to react with shock, but that would be a lie. What worried me was that Jacen's Force presence came from the grotto where I had last seen Tahiri.

What Jacen had found was a body hanging in the Grotto. A stringy rope-like substance tied him to four different plinths, his head hanging free, dangling down in front of the same plinth that Tahiri was leaning against the night before. Anakin's Plinth.

But where the engraved text was the night before was something new. A shallow recess had been carved and sitting in it was a focusing crystal for a lightsabre.

When my Dad lifted the body's head, we all recognized him immediately.

It was Valin Horn.

At that point, I heard the snap-hiss of a lightsabre, and my Master saying "This is Valin's lightsabre. It works, so whose lightsabre does that crystal belong to?"

As I looked around, trying to see anything to give me a clue if Tahiri had been here or not I hear my dad begin to speak, "Mara, please run and tell Corran and Mirax, they need to know, Jacen I'll want you to tell me exactly what happened here."

As Jacen began to tell his story to Dad, I opened myself to the Force, I felt the pain and shock. Valin had died right there in the grotto. Less than a klick from where me and my parents lived. Whoever did this, was powerful enough to shield Valin's death from us, and all the other Jedi who were on Ossus for the Concave.

Seeing, the reddish-black pool beneath Valin, I bent down so that I could see his chest. Once I got where I could see, I noticed two things. The first was the great slash in his stomach, which made me realize just where whoever did this got the rope. The second was a symbol burned onto Valin's chest. Curls and swooshes, like a child's conception of a rushing river.

My Dad and Jacen knelt down, and looked at Valin's chest as well.

Dad looked at Jacen as he asked "Have either of you ever seen this symbol before?"

As Jacen shook his head, I replied "I have. "

I ignored my Dad and Jacen's stares and sat down cross-legged on the ground a few feet from the body, and quickly dropped into a meditation stance. I plunged into the Force, desperately trying to find out what happened. Yet all that the Force would reveal at that time was pain, suffering and death.

I stretched out further, straining my abilities to try to find something. I felt the controlled pain and green spikes of horror coming from my dad. The Iron resolution, which was my Mom's intention to find who did this, and beneath the iron, the yellow anger at the person that did it. A brilliant white of shock and disbelief, that began it's quick darkening to the black of despair, that came from Corran and Mirax as my Mom was there telling them what Jacen had found. Of my master, I sensed a void, which I had long associated with Jacen when he was trying to suppress his thoughts and feelings.

Of Tahiri, all I felt was the echo of her Force presence.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

My dad brought in the best crime techs the GFFA had to offer. They picked that Grotto clean. The only traces of anyone they found were me, Tahiri, Jacen and Valin. It was interesting work, and I would have loved watching them do it, unfortunately I was needed for something else.

While the crime unit was playing in the Grotto, I received the joy of a good old fashioned, CorSec grilling. My Dad and Corran both wanted to know exactly where I had seen that symbol before. Corran looked about ready to yank the knowledge from my head by force, so I decided it would probably be best to tell them everything.

So I told them about the Japor icon. How I purchased it on Naboo, and gave it to Tahiri the day before. I told them about what I said while trying to be like Uncle Han, and then I told them about following her to that Grotto, and leaving after she asked me to.

As I was telling what happened, Corran sat down, and put his head into his hands. When I finished, he asked "Do you think Tahiri did it?" Whether he was asking my Dad or me, I was not sure.

Of course I answered no.

My dad answered "Riina could have."

With that, Corran got up and left, kicking a chair on his way out. His emotions were bubbling over like the magma found on Mt. Ossi, all reds, yellows, oranges and black. I looked at my Dad, but he did not look like he was willing to tell me anything, so I turned to Jacen and asked "Who is Riina?"

I knew that Tahiri had been tortured during the Vong war, in the same way that I knew that Jacen had been. Of course knowing something, never truly prepares you for when you learn the full impact of an event. I knew from a young age that I could not breathe water, but that did not prepare me to be held under the water until my lungs were screaming for oxygen. I was transfixed as Jacen laid out Tahiri's story. Of her capture on Yavin IV, Anakin's visions, Master Irkit's death, Anakin's death, Tahiri's slow descent into madness, the mind battles with Riina and ultimately how Jaina helped Tahiri and Riina to merge into one being.

Thinking hard, I looked towards the ceiling, and that was when it hit me. I realized exactly what went unsaid throughout the entire story. I looked at my Master, the one that was entrusted to teach me the ways of the Jedi and asked "So, Jaina helped Tahiri merge with Riina, and everyone assumed that that solved all her problems? I mean she was tortured and shaped, then Anakin was killed, plus there has to be some type of withdrawal symptoms or, or something from the joining with the Killiks. We just ignored it all?"

To say I was outraged would be an understatement. The Jedi were supposed to care for their own. We're supposed to be a family. Yet our family left Tahiri to suffer through her demons alone. The Force only knows what emotional scars lay under that beautiful pert nose.

"Yes son that is exactly what we all assumed."

I jumped with that. Not because of any profound truth, but just because I had shut myself down so far into the Force that I had forgotten my Dad was there. I turned to face him as he continued, "it was wartime, but of course that does not excuse the fact that we more or less left Tahiri to fend for her self after everything we knew she had been through. We took it upon ourselves to believe that we could help her by just being there for her, so off she went flitting about the galaxy with Han and Leia. After what happened with Jaina, she seemed so calm and collected, she fought the Vong with us, she laughed and cried with us, and then she stayed with Sekot."

"But Uncle Luke, how would we have known? How could we have known that Riina was still active?"

My head shot around and I glared at my Master as I opened my mouth to say that we did not know that Riina was active, that we did not even know if Tahiri was the one that did this, but I was interrupted by my dad as he said "We could not, and now Valin has paid the price. We must find Tahiri and see if we can help her, by force if need be."

I looked at my dad as he absently stared at the table top, and then turned my head to look at Jacen as he turned his expressionless gaze towards me. Shivering slightly, I got up and left, kicking a chair on my way out.

That night I dreamed. My dad once told me that Jedi do not often dream; I have found that to not be the case. As a Jedi, I seem to always be dreaming. I dream of everything from odd visions of the future and the past to what might have been and what may be.

That night, I dreamed of Tahiri.

In my dream she was being held in a cage, barely wide enough for her body, bracelets holding her arms and ankles down so she could not move. I could see the rage in her eyes and my dream self reveled in it. A cold, reptilian lust for blood and death and for Tahiri herself welled up within me as I looked at her and felt the skin around my mouth stretch into a twisted smile. My dream self, reached through the bars and grabbed Tahiri's hair, pulling her face close to the bars, then kissed her harshly, possessively.

It was at that point in my dream that I was awakened by a pounding on the door of the house that I shared with my parents. I looked over at the chrono on my desk and noticed that the sun had been up for barely five minutes. Shivering despite the warmth and humidity already present, I stretched out with the Force to determine who was pounding on our door, and could barely recognize Tish due to the fear and horror that rolled off her.

I slipped a cloak on and followed Tish and my parents as they quickly made their way to the Meeting Hall. As we mounted the steps, I noticed the stripe of blood that lead into the door way which still hung open. As I entered the foyer of the Meeting Hall, I looked down and gasped. On the floor laid out in intricate mosaic tiles was the symbol of the Jedi. It was a beautiful symbol, composed of the New Republic hawk in a light red, with an ignited lightsaber with a light blue blade on top of that, on either side of the saber were upswept wings colored a creamy white, and surrounding it all was a symbolic yellow sun. I've always loved the symbol, all those curves with the only straight lines being the saber. That day it was covered with an image of odd alien curves and harsh lines, an image of Yun Yammka drawn in the black of dried blood.

Disturbed, I walked the rest of the way inside and saw what had caused Tish so much fear and horror. Sitting in the seat that Tahiri had sat in just days before was Zekk. Zekk, who had been through so much, sat and stared sightlessly at the podium, with a blackened hole where his heart should have been.

I turned and looked at the podium, noticing that the blank stone wall behind it had been adorned with a new symbol. All curves and swooshes, just like a child's conception of a river.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

I climbed the steps to the stage so that I could get a better look. That close, I found another niche carved into the wall underneath the depiction of that Japor icon. I called my mom and dad over to show them the niche and what it contained. As they looked inside, I saw my dad's eyes narrow ever so slightly as he said "It's a high energy flux aperture."

To a non-Jedi, or anyone without a background in weapons-based plasma physics, that may sound like so much nonsense. Jedi build our own lightsabers, we intimately know each part and what it is called. A high energy flux aperture is that part of the lightsaber which keeps the blade from eating backwards into the saber hilt and a Jedi's hands.

Someone was slowly disassembling a lightsaber as they slowly killed Jedi.

Reaching out both physically and with the Force, I placed one finger on the capacitor. I felt pain and sorrow, but no death. I felt a battle of words and then swords. I felt fire, death, birth, water then the soul blasting heat of twin suns. Colors, too many to count, splashed upon my mind's eye, blinding me.

Then it stopped. I opened my eyes and I found myself standing in the midst of the Juudland Wastes on Tatooine, feeling the heat of both suns beat down upon me. I looked around and saw Tahiri sitting upon a Bantha. Once again, I found myself admiring her beauty, her blonde hair tied up in a simple bun threaded with a blue ribbon, dressed in the whites and tans of a Tatooine native, a simple light blue sash holding her smock closed. I noticed the simple soft-soled slippers she was wearing, the lightness of the scars on her forehead offset by the bronze of her tan. I felt that little patter in my heart as she turned her eyes on me, and nearly recoiled when I saw the anger and hatred in her eyes. The sheer hostility she exhibited, without speaking, moving or being armed was amazing. Distantly, I heard her say "You should not have come here. We will be lenient this once. Leave Tatooine and do not return. Tell your Master I will not come to him. The Jedi have no place for me." As she was speaking a tribe of sand people came up behind her, all riding their banthas. With the speech finished, she and the sand people turned and started walking deeper into the Wastes.

I screamed "Tahiri!" and felt myself forced pushed away. I landed on the front row of chairs in the Meeting Hall. As I succumbed to unconsciousness, I saw my parents rushing towards me with fear and worry in their eyes. I smiled slightly thinking that it is always nice to know they care.

I woke badly. Sitting up suddenly, I was half-crazed with fear; I instinctively pushed out with the force, destroying almost everything in the room. From beside my bed I heard "Now, are such displays really necessary Ben?"

Turning my head towards my Master, I noticed that while everything around him was smashed and broken, Jacen did not have a single hair out of place. I gave a slight smile and replied "I'm sorry Master."

Jacen merely smiled as he placed his hand on my shoulder and asked if I was ok.

Of course I said yes.

With that he smiled even larger and went to find my parents, and a droid or two to clean up the mess I had created.

A few hours later, the medics finally decided I could leave. It appears that I had been unconscious for two days. While I remembered dreaming, I failed to remember exactly what it was that I dreamed. All I knew was that the dreams were filled with pain and death, fire and blood. Likewise, what I remembered last was that haunting vision of Tahiri, which of course did nothing to improve my disposition.

Upon arriving home, I went to my quarters for bed, and was warmed slightly by the little things my parents had done for me, such as the large balloon, fixing my favorite desert, and of course the mug of hot chocolate, which had grown scarce during the Vong War. Of course, it was only slightly as I had grown even more worried about Tahiri because I found out that she had still not been found nor heard from. Luckily there had not been any more Jedi killed either, and Dad was hopeful that the killings had stopped, even if he hadn't found Tahiri.

Deciding that I had enough time sitting in rooms the past two days, I thought it would be a good idea to go for a run. Today, I can admit that was not a brilliant decision, but I was still a kid back then, so I'm forgiven.

The circuit which I ran took me around the Temple grounds, past the Horn's and Uncle Han's homes and finally back to my parent's house. Or at least that was the way it was supposed to take me, as when I got to the Horn home it was in flames. From within I could hear the sounds of lightsabers being used in combat, so I did what any self respecting Jedi trainee would do, I reached for my lightsaber.

This of course, is when I realized that my saber was still sitting on the desk in my room.

Grimacing slightly, I could hear my Master's voice admonishing me "A Jedi's lightsaber is his most precious possession. He must keep it with him at all times. That weapon is his life."

So, I did what any self respecting Jedi trainee who had left their lightsaber at home would do, I jumped through a window into the burning building.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

As I landed in the room, I noticed the two lightsaber blades locked in combat, the haze of smoke just turning them into diffuse glows in such a way that I was unable to discern the color of the blades, turning my head slightly, I heard a slight cough coming from upstairs, so with a last look at the lightsabers I dashed upstairs as fast as I could, tripping over Mirax Horn in the process.

Frowning slightly, as I noticed that she was missing a hand, and was nearly decapitated I continued my way up the stairs. I kicked open the door which held whoever was coughing, and saw Jysella Horn laying on the floor, a lightsaber wound decorating her stomach. I felt a cold fury awaken within me, but pushed it away. I had to save Jysella and my hate and rage would not help me in that.

I bent down, touched her shoulder and asked if she was ok, all I got in return was a small groan as I belatedly realized what a stupid question I had just asked. I picked her up, and turned towards the door to get her out of there and noticed that the entire second floor hallway was now engulfed in flames.

At this point I said a few Corellian words I had learned from Uncle Han that my Mom did not approve of me knowing, mainly about my Skywalker luck.

I turned the other way and jumped through the window, I drew the Force to me, to cushion the fall for both Jysella and myself. Once on the ground, I carefully laid Jysella on the ground and placed her in a healing trance. Turning back towards the house, I noticed a dark form jump out of a side window of the first floor and rush off towards the woods, but I ignored it in favor of something more important.

Reaching deep into the Force, I pulled and grabbed the fire. Even at this point I had heard stories about Jedi manipulating fire, such as Corran channeling it upwards or Anakin pushing it away from him. What I wanted to do was different. I wanted to control it. Combustion is a fundamental law of nature, the how's and why's and way's that things burn is a very precise concept, and the ways to stop that are tried and tested. Unfortunately, they have a tendency to ruin trace evidence, water washes away blood, fire-foam has the potential to alter objects on a chemical level. All the homes on Ossus are equipped with fire suppression systems. The fact that it was actually burning was evidence in and of itself. I merely wanted to preserve more.

I pulled, cajoled and broke a few laws of nature, but I managed to extinguish the current flames from the building, and keep any more from starting. Exhausted I collapsed beside Jysella fighting to stay conscious. Lifting my head, I looked towards where I had saw the figure running off and saw a tall figure strolling to me. The street lights where in my eyes, so all I saw was a black shadow walking towards me. I reached out with the Force to discern who it was, but was so weak my probe was easily knocked away. As the figure reached me, I saw a foot pull back, and felt more than saw the swift kick to the head as unconsciousness finally claimed me.

I awakened almost instantly, or at least I awakened before anyone else had arrived, but with plenty of time for whoever kicked me to get away, even after leaving a final present for me. Turning my head, I looked at Jysella and instantly felt tears spring to my eyes.

I had known Jys all my life. She was one of my best friends when we were younger, for the first 10 years of my life, she was my playmate, confidant, co-conspirator in trouble and pranks, although we had grown slightly apart as she entered her teen years and was apprenticed to Cilghal, we had started to become close friends again, as I entered my teens and became a full apprentice to Jacen. While I thought Jys was not as beautiful as Tahiri she was very pretty. I had heard her described once as the best of the Horn and Terrik lines, and that was an accurate statement. Especially her eyes, which I think are probably a little more vibrant than Tahiri's. Now, she had something very much in common with Tahiri, her forehead was branded. Even though the wound was bleeding, I could just make out the curves and swooshes of the Japor icon.

I started to cry, whether they were tears of joy that Jysella was still alive, or if they were tears of frustration and anger at Jysella being mutilated I did not know, for I felt both. I pulled Jysella to me, and cradled her in my arms. I looked down at her, and felt my rage and hate grow at my own futility and powerlessness to stop whoever was killing Jedi and others on Ossus. I felt my rage and hate at whoever did this to Jysella and her family.

I felt pure unadulterated rage.

I screamed my rage and frustration at the Force, at fate, at destiny, at my heritage, at the Jedi. I screamed my rage and frustration at myself. I screamed, feeding my rage, hate and frustrations all back to the Force.

And apparently awoke nearly every Jedi on the planet. Master Cilghal told me later that it almost felt as bad as when Carida was destroyed.

That was where my parents found me, slightly rocking Jysella, protecting her, holding her close and tight against my chest, sitting in front of the burned out hulk of Jysella's broken home with tears running down my dirt and ash covered face.


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

Jysella did not want to come out of the healing trance. Not that I could blame her, for her parents were dead. Her brother was dead. They were dead at the hands of whoever was doing these things.

I had began to suspect that whoever did this was attacking my family or me. After all, they turned Jysella's life into a living nightmare, and she was my best friend. They killed Zekk, and he was one of my cousin's closest friends. I had to wonder if whoever was doing this was doing it all to cause me pain, through my friends and family.

I felt like I was to blame.

My feelings of guilt were not helped that for the first time since this all started, I was actually afraid. I had been feeling the fear in the Force every time I opened up ever since Valin was found, but I was not afraid. My thoughts were "I am a Jedi trainee, son of the Jedi Grand Master, and apprentice to one of the most powerful knights. I can handle anything." Yet whoever was doing this, had now killed two Jedi Knights, a Jedi Council Member and his wife, who happens to be a smuggler, with all the rough and tumble fighting skills that entails. In fact I remember a class in 'dirty fighting' that had both her and Uncle Han as guest instructors.

Guilt and fear. They found purchase in my heart, where the rage and frustration would not.

I spent most of the next week either at Jysella's bedside, or sitting in a chair watching her float in bacta. I had a birthday, and missed all my classes, yet I stayed there. I ignored my parents and Master as they tried to get me to give up my vigil, and even threatened her grandfather with my lightsaber when he suggested something similar. In hindsight, that was a funny scene, here I was a 14-year-old apprentice, with the tip of my lightsaber inches from the tip of the nose of Booster Terrik, a smuggler, who spent five years on Kessel, and happens to be the captain of a Star Destroyer, screaming at him, "I am not leaving here until she is awake, and I don't care if you try to drag me out of here with the _Errant Venture_. I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere." Maybe you just had to be there.

Even though I was in the medical center almost the entire time, I did hear some things. Corrran's body was found, and he had been killed by a lightsaber, in the room where I saw the lightsaber fight. As I noticed when getting Jysella, Mirax was dead as well.

I remembered the seemingly easy, yet in actuality hard, lessons and anecdotes that Master Horn would tell. I remembered the ryshcate that Mirax would make when she was in a good mood over something. Don't tell Uncle Han or Aunt Iella, but hers were even better than either of theirs. I remembered the trip to Agumar on the _Pulsar Skate_ that Mirax took Jysella and me on when I was 8. I remembered all those little things that they had done for me and for others, all those little things they would never be able to do again.

Jys did not want to awake, and I ever so desperately did.

Unfortunately, neither of us got our wish. I was there when Jysella opened her eyes. She looked at me, and asked, "Where's Mom and Dad?" With sorrow in my eyes, I slowly shook my head, side to side and told her that they did not get out of the fire in time.

Her grief and sorrow pounded into me, and for the first time that I could remember, I did not retreat into the Force and myself when presented with such raw, negative emotions within the Force. Rather than running from those feelings in the Force, I reached out to Jys, both physically and with the Force, wrapping my arms around her, as she clung to me crying. I climbed onto the bed beside her, holding her tight as she cried, while she laid her bandaged head against my chest, her tears running down her face.

She had already lost everything. I refused to turn from her as well.

I wrapped her in the Force, granting her strength, support and acceptance. I did not, could not, take her pain away, but I shared my strength with her. I could not take her loneliness away, but I offered my friendship.

For the first time in my life that I could remember, I offered my soul up through the Force to another. I used the Force, not as a tool to accomplish a mission, but as a way to ease someone's pain, to share their pain. For the first time, I finally began to understand what my parents and Master had been talking about. Why the Force was a good thing.

For the second time in my life, I was actually happy to be a Force Sensitive.

Comforting Jysella helped me heal the final scars I still carried due to the Vong War.

Cilghal came into the room at point, ushered me out of the bed, and gave me what passes for an angry scowl for Mon Calamari. Whether the scowl was for not paging her as soon as Jys awoke or being in the bed with her, I did not know and did not care. I decided at that point, I would do it again and again if Jys needed me to.

From across the room, I could not hear what Cilghal was saying, but I felt the grief and morbid curiosity from Jysella as she hurried to remove the bandages from her forehead. Both Jys and I gasped as she looked into the mirror provided by Cilghal, and I saw her forehead for the first time since she was taken out of the Bacta Tank.

There in the white of scar tissue, was the Japor icon, branded onto her forehead. Before I realized I was going to speak, I heard myself asking Cilghal why the Bacta did not heal it.

Cilghal turned slightly towards me, but was addressing Jysella more as she replied "Whoever branded Jysella did so with the Force. Short of reconstructive surgery, we cannot remove it."

She turned back to Jys and suggested that Jys get some rest, and then looked towards me and suggested the same to me.

I of course paid no attention to her.

Sitting down in my chair next to her bed, I kept Jysella company until she fell asleep again. Then I continued to keep her company, speaking softly about nonsense as I had been doing for days. I did not want her to feel alone, or maybe I just did not want to be alone.

Finally I dozed, and was awakened by Jysella thrashing around on the bed, in the fits of a nightmare.

So I did want any self-respecting Jedi trainee would do. I climbed into bed with her, and held her until she calmed down and continued to hold her as sleep claimed me.

Ok, so hindsight tells me that this is not what any self-respecting Jedi trainee would do, but it's what I did.

My mistake was made apparent to me the next morning when Booster arrived. In the heated discussion Booster and I had afterwards, I made the decision that I would do it again, just to make Booster turn that interesting color of purple. Another mistake that was made apparent was me telling Booster that decision.

After my discussion with Booster, I took up my vigil next to Jysella again. While watching her sleep, I decided that I would do it again, just because Jysella needed someone. In making that decision I ignored the fact that I really liked it.

As I sat there pondering my discussion with Booster, I thought, "It's those Skywalker genes. They make you play the hero, and what is a hero without a damsel in distress." As I thought this, I realized that in my concern and worry over Jysella, I had not thought of Tahiri since I awoke in the medical center. So I commed my dad and asked about any word on Tahiri, and felt my worry grow as it turned out she still had not been found.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The day Jysella was to be released was the day the murderer struck again. There in the lobby of the medical center an autopsy was performed on Jedi Healer Tekli. She had been flayed, cut open and every internal organ removed and spread about the lobby. Apparently, it had taken hours, but no one had felt a thing in the Force, and to make matters even more aggravating, the holorecorders did not capture anything either.

I heard later some of the more minor details of what happened. Things such as how the murderer had drawn, in the bluish green of dried Chadra Fan blood, the Japor icon; repeating it on every one of the transparent doors into and out of the Medical Center. Also, sitting in the body where her heart should have been, sat the power pack for a lightsaber.

Fortunately neither Jysella nor I had to see the mess. I'm not sure how well she would have handled it. Truthfully, I am not sure how well I would have handled it either. I had already seen to much death and was not looking forward to more.

My parents and I took her back to our home, and set her up in our guest room.

That was another discussion that I had that week. My parent's original intentions were to put her up with the other Padawans who were living on Ossus without their families. I argued that she needed to stay with us. I used their failures with Tahiri as an argument. I used anything I thought could help me win my case, even to the point of saying if Jysella moved into the barracks, I would move in there as well.

I wanted Jysella close, because of my fears. I feared for her being alone. I feared for her needing comfort. Ultimately, I feared that the murderer would come to finish the job. And maybe just a little, I wanted her to just be near me.

At that point what I consciously knew was that I just did not want someone else I knew, loved or respected to be hurt. I just wanted the nightmare to be over.

Blasted Skywalker luck.

After Jysella was settled and asleep, I went to my quarters and decided I needed to do something more constructive than pacing the floor. I decided I needed to learn some more about the Japor icon. So I sent some messages out over the holonet to the trader on Naboo about the icon, specifically trying to get some information on its history and where he got it. I then contacted a cultural expert to see if the distinctive markings on the icon meant anything to any known culture.

After I sent out the messages I looked out the window and noticed Jysella trying to sneak away.

Of course I snuck out the window to follow. I caught up to her as she entered the door of her house. I reached out and placed my hand on her shoulder and said "Jys."

This caused Jysella to jump and scream. She turned to me, with tears in her eyes and said "Ben! Why? Why did it have to happen? Why would whoever did this, do it to us?"

I wrapped my arms around her and replied, "I don't know Jys. I just don't. But I'm here for you."

After her tears had subsided a bit, I asked "Why did you come here tonight Jys?"

"I don't know. I just, I needed to see. See my house, see where it happened. I guess I was just hoping to understand."

Nodding my head, I took her hand and said "Come on then, let's go look around."

We went upstairs first, and looked inside Jysella's room, but there was nothing really there. She picked up a few mementos that were not too badly damaged, and then we went to her parent's room, where we did the same thing.

Finally, we went into the main room of the house, the one where the lightsaber fight took place. Here the fire damage was extensive. The windows damaged. Couches, tables, and shelves burned, some slashed. Not much survived in this room. As I was poking in a corner I found something though. When I initially saw it I thought it was just another burned table leg, but it just looked wrong to me. So I bent down, picked it up and as I did, it flopped. Calling Jysella over to look at it, it finally hit me what I was holding.

It was the tail of a barabel.

Wondering why the crime scene techs did not find it, I turned to Jysella and said "Come on, we need to get this to my parents."

So off we went back to my house to show my parents what we had found. Dad was not happy, but my Mom was a boiling pot of anger. She spat out a number of those Correlian words that I'm not supposed to know. The sad thing was we had just walked in the front door.

Apparently, it was not a good thing for two young padawans to go running off in the middle of the night together. It also turns out that while Jysella was in the medical center, Dad instituted a curfew due to the killer. So while it was bad enough we were running around outside at night together, rummaging through the burned out hulk of the Horn house, we were breaking curfew to do so.

I interjected "Well, that was why we snuck out our windows" into her angry yelling at the two of us, which was not one of my better ideas. It ranked right up there with telling Booster that I wanted to climb into bed with his granddaughter again just to see his face turn purple.

Right about the point it appeared that Mom and me were going to draw our sabers and have at it, my Dad stepped in with a Force enhanced "Enough!" Then we both got the stare. The one Dad used on Jedi who have misbehaved and said "Jedi must be at peace, and in control of their emotions. The yelling and fighting you two are doing solves nothing but it does breed anger, mistrust and hate."

Chagrined, I apologized to my parents for both the yelling and sneaking out. Surprisingly my mom apologized to me to, explaining that it was more worry than true anger and that she just did not want to see the two of us hurt.

I finally got to tell them about the barabel tail we had found.

My parents called my Master, Cilghal, Kyp Durron, Kyle Katarn, Kam Solusar, Saba Sabatyne and Tionne so they could discuss what I had found.

Jacen asked if they could still be joiners, and Cilghal explained the effect should have been ended by now, as that is their experience with Tekli, Zekk and Jaina.

This is when I put in the fact that those three had not spent the past three years exiled alone to Dagobah. In fact they had spent more time apart on various missions or in the medical center than together.

And then they were off, yelling and snapping at each other. It was as if the past three years of unity the Master's Council had experienced had never happened.

Sighing, I turned from them and noticed that Jysella had fallen asleep on a couch. As I picked her up to take her to her room, she slightly awoke and wrapped her arms around my neck and put her head on my shoulder. The smell of her hair filled my nose; it was a great and wonderful smell, a smell that reminded me of honey and strawberries and all the good things in life.

A distinctly different concept than what I had been dealing with recently, but one I was most happy to experience. Truth be known, I carried her to her room much slower than I had to, taking the extra time just to smell her hair.

I got her to her room, laid her on her bed, and turned to go. This is when she reached out and grabbed my tunic. Turning towards her, I saw the fear, unshed tears and what was almost panic in her eyes as she said "Ben, please don't leave me alone." I saw a single tear escape from those eyes, which just two weeks ago were filled with such hope and light and life as she added, "I don't want to be alone. I, I'm scared. Please?"

So I did what any self-respecting Jedi trainee would do. I stayed with her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

That night I dreamed again. This dream did not have the vibrancy or urgency of my earlier dream or vision, but I personally think it was more disturbing, especially in light of what happened later.

I was in the clearing where Tahiri was being held in a cage and I was getting her down. I heard the thrum of Jysella's lightsaber behind me, when I heard another suddenly ignite and Jysella scream out I turned and saw a black form holding a silver bladed lightsaber. I felt amusement as the being looked at the crumbled form of Jysella, steam coming from a wound in her stomach, and I felt rage ignite within me. Oddly, the amusement coming from the dark form just grew greater. I saw the black clad arm draw back and throw his saber. I watched as it flew past me and straight into Tahiri's heart. Then the saber shot back to the hand that threw it.

I grabbed my saber and ignited it, the anger coming off me in waves and lunged at the black form. My attack was parried effortlessly, and I received a kick to the stomach which knocked me to the ground. Keeping my saber ignited and between us, I got back to my feet and attacked again.

I slashed and parried, but was never able to get into the dark one's defenses past the second ring.

I felt the futility, despair and the hopelessness of it all. I attacked and attacked, and was punished and punished. I could feel Jysella's life slipping away, and the void in the Force that was Tahiri. I attacked and attacked, pushed out with the Force and realized that the only Jedi I could sense was Jysella and me.

I felt the dark one laughing at me as I realized this, and I tried to figure out how it could have killed all the Jedi.

I attacked and never won. My rage grew while the dark form's amusement grew.

Then it all disappeared.

Suddenly my father was standing before me, and I stumbled as I halted the swing of my blade. He smiled at me and said "Fear is the path to the dark side. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering." Then he disappeared.

Then standing before me was my mother, and she was saying, "Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny." Then she disappeared.

Next my aunt Leia appeared and she was saying, "A Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack." Then she disappeared.

I turned around again, and found myself looking at my cousin Jaina. Her eyes were haunted and bloodshot, but she opened her mouth to speak and said "Beware of the dark side. Anger, fear and aggression, these belong to the dark side of the Force. Easily they flow; quickly you can find them in a fight." Then she disappeared.

Turning around in that dark, I looked and looked, but could see nothing and then there appeared before me, someone else. Someone I had only seen in holos, my cousin Anakin. He smiled at me, looking so much like uncle Han and said "Hiya Ben. Whatcha up to?"

Looking around, all I saw was a dark fog and replied, "Uhm, I was fighting the dark one, Tahiri was dead, and Jysella was dying. I had to stop it."

"Why?' was his simple reply.

"What? What do you mean why?"

As he walked closer, he answered me "It's simple, why did the dark one need to be fought? You are a Jedi, is fighting with lightsabers all that you are? Is it all that you were taught?"

At this point, he thumped me on the head as he continued his lecture "You are a Jedi, you must be at peace when you act. Serenity is your calling. Fear, anger, hate, guilt, rage, jealousy, suffering, these are all paths to the dark side. You must remain calm and at peace, to do otherwise is to deny all that your father and mother have fought and sacrificed for. If you honor your parents, you must remain calm and at peace. When you are passive, you will know the true way of the Jedi. Remember, a Jedi uses the Force for knowledge and defense, never for attack. If you fall, so do the Jedi."

I opened my mouth to reply and I felt a blinding pain.

I woke, lying on my back, with Jysella's head on my chest and my arms wrapped around her. I could feel the pain in the Force. It was coming from someone close to me. Family. I closed my eyes and focused on the pain and recognized Jaina's Force presence.

Extracting myself from underneath Jysella woke her. She looked at me with those clear, sea-green eyes of hers and asked, "Where are you going?"

I replied, "Jaina needs help. She's in pain."

As I pulled my boots on, she jumped out of the bed and said she was coming with me. I opened the door slightly and could hear the Master's Council downstairs still going at it, so I decided to sneak out of the window for the second time that night. A quick look at Jysella made me realize that she would not be left behind without a long argument, which I would probably lose anyways, and I could feel the Force urging haste. So with a quick nod of my head, we went out into the night, together.

I followed Jaina's pain in the Force to the Grotto. There was Jaina, and much to my shock the dark form from my dream, each circling the other lightsabers drawn. I noticed that Jaina was wounded, a slice to the leg and another to the arm. Igniting my saber I rushed at them and ran face first into a Force wall. Bouncing back, I felt the blood as it began to trickle out of my nose. I reached out with the Force and yanked the Force wall down by sheer will. This is when the dark form finally took notice of me. As the dark form stared in my direction, it acted almost absentmindedly as it slashed and parried with Jaina.

I ignited my saber again and rushed him. Stretching out my feelings I realized with a slight shock that I could feel nothing of my adversary. While the dark form did not feel like a void the way the Yuuzhan Vong do, I just felt nothing, as if the shields being used against me were so powerful, they totally masked the dark one's presence.

There were no ripples in the Force, no void in the Force, the dark one just was not there as far as the Force was concerned. Life flowed through that spot as if nothing stood where I could see the dark one standing.

As Jysella and I joined in the fight, I finally felt something; the dark one was beginning to radiate amusement. It radiated an amusement, which quickly bubbled over into the Force equivalent of sidesplitting laughter.

The dark one was laughing as it fought to a standstill Jaina, Jsyella and me.

Of course, it was probably even more disturbing when it stopped laughing and started really fighting. A flick of the arm, and Jysella was sent flying against one of the plinths and knocked unconscious. The hand pointed towards me and Force lightning shot out at me, which I barely manage to block on my lightsaber.

Of course, my blocking the lightning just made the dark one angry, and that angry resolved itself to Force lightning being hurled at Jaina, who because of her wounds, just missed blocking it. I noticed the dark one had thrown its lightsaber; the saber was on a perfect path to slice through the plinth which Jysella had been thrown against, and was currently on the ground unconscious where it would fall.

These things were happening at effectively different ends of the Grotto at the same time. I recognized that I was being set up with a choice. Help Jaina or help Jysella. It was a deceptively simple choice, one or the other, who do I save. Do I continue to battle the dark one, stopping the lightning that was striking Jaina? Or do I rush to save Jysella, and keep her from being crushed beneath the plinth.

In my head, I heard my Master's voice, "You must choose and act. Neither decision is right, neither decision is wrong. But choose you must. Now decide."

At the time, my Master was not talking about deciding on the life of his sister or my best friend, but the concept is a fundamental truth. I had to make a decision, carry it out, and live with the consequences.

Jaina or Jysella, I had to decide who got to live, who I was going to ignore and who I was going to help. For the first time in my life, I had to play the gardener.

I had to choose and act.

So I did.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

In the end, there was no choice, so I acted in the only way I could.

Turning my back to Jaina, I reached out with the Force and grabbed the plinth that was about to fall upon Jysella.

In theory, using the Force is effortless; a Jedi can hold something indefinitely, never tiring, regardless of size, shape or weight. That's just theory. Reality is that things get heavy, fast. That weight a Jedi feels is a product of their mind, telling the body this action should tire it, but knowing that doesn't make it any less heavy. Then with objects in movement, you have to factor in the kinetic energy that has to be absorbed or bled in some way.

The falling plinth had a lot of mass and a lot of kinetic energy which I had to absorb to keep it from crushing Jysella. It would not be an easy thing to do, even for my dad. It's a good thing, easy is not for Jedi. One would think that the simplest way to save her would have been to use my telekinesis to push her out of the way, unfortunately I did not know if she was injured or not. Pushing her around with the Force could have just hurt her worse.

I was able to stop the falling plinth, mere inches above Jysella's unconscious form. Breathing a slight sigh of relief, I felt a blinding flash of pain across my eyes and heard Jaina scream.

Still holding the plinth, I turned towards Jaina and the dark one.

Kneeling on the ground, her saber discarded and forgotten, her hands covering her face, sat Jaina, waves of pain rolling off of her. Once again, I could feel the amusement coming off the dark one, as a saber was raised to deliver a killing blow.

I was afraid. I was angry. I hated the dark one. Suddenly, the plinth did not seem heavy any longer.

"NO!" was what I was screaming, before I even realized I was opening my mouth, and then I threw the plinth at the dark one. Igniting my saber I ran towards them, feeling the raw power of my anger and hate. I was just shy of reveling in it.

The plinth landed, showering both Jaina and the dark one with dirt. Absently, I noticed that Jaina still had her hands over her face, she was still radiating pain. Even before the echo of the landing plinth faded, I was nearly upon them with my blade ignited, a yell coming from my mouth.

We closed, our sabers slashing at each other, each trying to get the upper hand on the other, neither of us quite able to.

I was no longer afraid, but my anger and hatred grew. As I swung, I was blocked, as I parried I was attacked. We fought in perfect sync, neither able to gain ground, neither giving it.

My anger and hate grew.

My attacks become more ferocious, my accuracy greater, my creativity in moves outstanding. I was a whirlwind; to an outsider my blade would have appeared everywhere at once. Yet still I was held at bay.

My anger and hate grew.

We both threw out force pushes, effectively canceling each other out, straining against one another, for the moment our blades forgotten. Exerting ourselves in the Force, finally there was a backlash. We were both thrown apart from one another. I crashed against a tree, the dark one slammed into a plinth, sending cracks radiating out from the point of impact.

My anger and hate grew.

We ran back at one another. I jumped to attack from a level of height, while the dark one came up from below. Our sabers collided, creating a straining, buzzing sound as they sought to override one another.

My anger and hate grew.

Finally the dark one made a flaw, a slight slip in the series of defenses and attacks used against me, and I was able to land a solid kick against the dark one, knocking it back and onto the ground. The dark one struggled to stand, but I was there and attacking before that was accomplished.

Still my anger and hate grew.

The power surged through me as I battered away at the dark one's defenses, knocking at its saber as the dark one feebly held it horizontally between us. I could feel the power crackling within my body. I felt my mouth turn down in a sneer, as I sliced through the hilt of the saber. I felt elation, as I raised my blade to deliver a killing stroke.

Which is when I heard Jaina behind me, her voice a weak whisper as she said "Ben, no. Don't give in to hate."

Startled I looked at her, as she lowered her hands from her face, the blackened slash of a lightsaber wound running across her face, right where her eyes used to be. I remember shuddering at those blackened burns that were now her eyes; I felt they were staring at me as she said "Remember your training Ben. Hate, anger, they are of the dark side."

Then without warning she was launched through the air and slammed against a plinth. She made this small 'eep' sound as she hit and fell to the ground.

I felt amusement roll in the force, and I turned once more towards the dark one, my anger spiking once again. I felt the hate and anger at my finger tips, the power ready to explode forth and destroy my enemy.

I did not get a chance to act as I was raised off the ground, my air supply being cut off, my ribs and arms being compressed nearly to the point of breaking. I tried to pry the force grip off me, but I was not fast enough. I felt the force grip disappear, and noticed the whistling in my ears as I flew through the air and slammed against a plinth. I screamed as I felt some of my ribs crack from the force of me colliding with the plinth.

As I crashed into the ground, I looked back towards where the dark one was standing, and noticed that it was watching something flying through the air. I looked around, trying to find Jaina and did not see her where she had fallen after being thrown. Reaching out with the Force I found her location, just as she dropped on top of me.

The breath exploded out of me.

As I tried to catch my gasping breath, I weakly raised my head and saw the dark one turn around and run off into the night. In the distance I could hear others rushing towards the Grotto, the thrum of multiple ignited lightsabers coming ever closer.

Being careful to not hurt Jaina more than she already was, I got her off me, laid her on the ground, and sat up. I closed my eyes, still trying to catch my breath, each heaving gasp sending agony through my broken ribs. Where we had fought, the Force was a rolling maelstrom of colors and emotions. Anger and hate chief among them. It felt and looked cancerous to my Force sight, and I knew that most of it was from me.

I knew, because I could still feel the anger and hate inside me. I could feel the anger and hate burning me, changing me. I tried to find my center, my calm, but it was inaccessible, my passivity dashed, my serenity gone.

I was the maelstrom that could be felt rippling in the Force.

Sitting there with my eyes closed, breathing heavily from my exertions, I could feel the Force all around me, cold and welcoming, beckoning me, telling me that if I would just embrace the hate and anger, then it would deliver my enemies to me. I could crush them, grind their bones to dust, destroy them utterly for the way they have hurt me and mine. I could make them bleed and burn, cause them the same pain they caused me. Make them feel even greater pain than that which I felt. It whispered that I could have Tahiri or Jysella or I could even have both. I could posses them. I could posses anything.

I could posses everything.

The Dark Side beckoned, offering me victory over my enemies, and anything and everything I could possibly want or desire. In payment, all I would have to do was turn over my soul.


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

I sat in the maelstrom, my eyes closed, and my focus inward. I fought my inner demons, tried my best to hold onto my inner light. I was failing at both. The darkness beckoned and cajoled, promised and threatened. I both yearned for it and shunned it.

I was failing, falling, because ultimately I wanted what it offered, so much more than I wanted to deny it.

I was in the maelstrom and could not find my way out because ultimately I liked what it was offering more than I wanted out.

Then, into the maelstrom stepped a shining beacon of light. It consisted of hope and friendship and love. Yes there was pain and sorrow, confusion and anger, fear and guilt, but I could see they were just temporary overlays on the life and vitality of that beacon.

It was shining and beautiful.

It was pure and golden.

It was all the best things in life.

It smelled like strawberries and honey.

I opened my eyes and there kneeling next to me was Jysella, fear and worry in her eyes. The wind was blowing her raven hair across my face, where it tickled my nose. She reached out and placed her hand on my cheek, a simple gesture, my saving grace. I tilted my head, leaning into her hand. I could barely hear her, as if I was a great distance from her, as she said "Please stay."

I closed my eyes again, once more settling into the maelstrom, and felt that beacon of light, life, love and laughter wrap around me, driving the darkness away, accepting me. I leaned into the embrace, and realized that the dark was something I really did want to deny. The smell of her hair filled my nose, as she willingly held me and I began to cry.

That was what the darkness could not offer me. I could posses anything by using it, but those I loved and cared for would not willingly help me, would not willingly hold me. They would not willingly accept and love me. If I accepted the dark, I would always know that what I gained by its use would be but a pale shadow of what I lost due to its use.

Other Jedi finally arrived. I could feel my parents and my aunt and uncle, plus all the masters that were at my parent's house when Jysella and I snuck out. I could feel Saba recoil slightly at the pain, anger and hate that bubbled in the Force.

I imagine we looked quite the sight. Covered in dirt, I was laying half on the ground and half on Jysella, one arm holding my broken ribs; the other wrapped tightly around one of Jysella's arms as it held me. My face buried in her hair, resting on her shoulder. Jysella next to me on her knees both of her arms around me. With Jaina unconscious next to us both, the wound to her face and eyes clearly visible.

The blackened stripe that said she would never fly again, as it stared sightlessly at the stars that she loved so much.

We were taken to the medical center again, where all three of us got dunked into Bacta.

I was decanted first, and moved to a room. Of course I did not stay. As soon as the orderly had left; I snuck out and went back to the Bacta Tank area. I pulled up a chair between Jaina's and Jysella's tanks and there I sat, not moving, not thinking, I was just trying to be.

I sighed slightly and thought to myself "things never go that easily" as my dad walked in. He pulled up a chair next to mine and said "I went to your room to see you, why did you not stay there?"

I looked at my dad; the lines of pain and worry etched onto his face, and ignored his question as I said "I'm sorry dad. I failed. I was given a choice between Jysella and Jaina, I could only save one, and they both still ended up here in Bacta."

My dad looked at me, and said in that maddeningly calm voice of his "Why do you believe that is a failure? If you had not been there, Jaina would have died, if you had chosen differently, they both might have died. No the failure was not in your decision between Jysella and Jaina, if anything your failure was in the decision in going out with just the two of you. Why didn't you get your mom or me?"

I looked down, not having an answer to his questions; or at least not having one I wanted to honestly answer. Instead I went off on a different tangent and said "I saw Anakin in a dream."

Dad allowed himself to get diverted by that statement as a pained look appeared in his eyes and he replied, "Tell me."

So I told him of my dream, of how I battled the dark one, and watched as he killed Tahiri and mortally wounded Jysella, of the certainty that the Jedi were once again extinct, of how he, mom, aunt Leia and Jaina appeared to me, quoting various lines I had heard about avoiding the dark side. Finally I told him of the discussion that I held with Anakin, until Jaina's pain woke me.

He just looked at me with those calm eyes he has, and said "Please Ben, next time, tell us these things first. You are not immortal, though with the level of power you have it may seem that way. These half-thought out excursions, could lead you into serious danger, and one of these days you won't have the raw talent to be able to get out of it. Or worse, you drag someone along with you that lacks the raw talent to get out of it. How would you feel if young Tish followed you on one of these things, and died trying to emulate you?"

At this point, some med techs came in to decant Jysella, so my dad and I backed away as they did their job.

As they wheeled her out of the Bacta area, and towards the room she would be staying in, I turned to follow. With a last look over my shoulder at my dad I said "When Jaina comes out, tell her…tell her that I'm sorry and that I love her. I…I should have been able to save them both dad. I should have been powerful enough to save them both. I'll be in Jys' room."

I then walked out of the room, following the orderlies, leaving my father staring after me with a strange look on his face.

After the medics had got her situated into a room, I sat in a chair next to her bed. I smiled as she looked my way and I said "Hi."

She smiled in return and muttered something about being sleepy. So I told her that line I often heard about getting some rest and took up my vigil by her bedside, once again determined to not leave her side until she demanded it of me, all the while silently praying that she never would.

I dozed, and once again I dreamed. I found myself in the Grotto, not as I had seen it last, torn and ripped from my battle, but as I remembered it from my first visit, pristine, harmonious and sacred. There standing with his back to me was Anakin; he glanced once over his shoulder, smiled and then turned back and continued reading the plinth in front of him. As he finished he turned towards me and with a smirk said "I never would have thought Kyp would have such nice things to say about me. Now young Jedi, why do you doubt your decision?"

Frowning slightly, I replied, "Not one for small talk are you?"

After all, I had avoided this discussion with my dad. I didn't really want to have it with my dead cousin.

He just smiled and said "Time flies in this realm. We never know when we will be disturbed and you awakened. Besides, Tahiri was always the talker. Now, why do you doubt your decision?"

Doing a simple breathing exercise, I told him. I told him of the pain they both ended up feeling, of my anger and the hate that almost consumed me. I told him of my guilt.

He looked at me, through me, as if conversing with someone I could not see nor hear. Finally his eyes once again focused on mine, as he began to speak, "Ben, the Force needs you to be confidant and strong. That is why I have been allowed to see you these two times. As such, I am allowed to show you what might have been. If you had chosen differently, this is how the events would have played out. As well, I must warn you, it will not be a single vision, but multiple ones, as every choice we make has its basis in a previous choice made. You will see them all. Yet never again will you be given a vision of what might have been. From this point on, you must trust in the Force. As my brother is so fond of saying these days, you must choose and act."

As he finished talking, he reached out and placed his palm against my head, and I saw.


	11. Chapter 11

**Chapter 11**

I saw myself at the decision point. I was turning my back to Jysella as I started towards the dark one, and I felt it as the plinth crashed down, crushing her. I felt despair bloom within me. I charged the dark one and felt my anger and hatred blossom out of control. I felt myself give myself over to the hate as Jaina was struck down. I threw black lightening at the dark form, reveling as the burned and crisped body fell to the ground lifelessly. I felt my manic glee as I stood over the dead around me. I saw the other Jedi come running into the Grotto, and I ignited my saber and attacked. Cutting down first my parents and then every Jedi that came against me.

I saw blackness.

I saw myself at the decision point. I was either unable to decide, or just took too long to decide. The plinth still crushed Jysella, but I arrived at Jaina's side just as the dark one's saber sliced through her eyes. I could feel my rage and anger erupt, as I watched myself battle the dark one. I heeded Jaina's words when she warned me of the dark side, and felt my anger erupt even greater than before as she was thrown. I watched as the dark one threw me against the plinth and then ran off. I saw myself sitting beside the plinth which covered Jysella's body, as I became the maelstrom with my eyes closed. I saw my eyes shoot open as the other Jedi arrived, their sickly yellowish orange tint glowing in the dark, and a cold, evil grin spread across my face.

I saw blackness.

I saw myself at the decision point. I saw myself use the Force to pull Jysella out of the way, and launched myself to intercept the lightening that was striking Jaina. As I fought with the dark one, I could feel my anger and hate grow. Then Jaina was there beside me, fighting as well. Yet with a simple flick of the wrist, the dark one sent one of Jaina's arms flying, and I heard Jaina's scream, which quickly faded as she went into shock. Enraged even more, I attacked harder and more ferociously than before. I felt a dark satisfaction as I took the dark one's hands. As the dark one kneeled before me, with pain coming from it in waves, I could feel that cold alien satisfaction increase, as I took the dark one's head. Turning from Jaina, I walked over to where I had left Jysella, and noticed that her head was bent at an odd angle. In my haste to save her I had accidentally killed her. I could feel the despair and anguish which over took me. I felt the dark side offering its cold offer. I felt myself accept.

Then the visions within my dream were over. They had left me kneeling on all fours, panting, and I could feel a cold sweat covering my body. If this had not been a dream, I would have thrown up at this point.

Anakin looked at me sadly, and said "The Force is not kind to the Skywalker bloodline. Our destinies are manifold, and often filled with hardship and pain."

Sitting up, I looked at Anakin and could feel my anger as it began to spike as I spate out "Well, I didn't ask to be a Skywalker."

Anakin just gave me a knowing smile as he calmly replied "None of us asked for our destinies. Do you think death was a choice I made happily?"

Sighing, I asked, "But why is this happening? Who is doing this? What does it have to do with Tahiri and what is the deal with that Japor icon?"

Anakin looked down at his hands as he replied, "I am sorry Ben, but I am not allowed to answer those questions. There is just too much at stake for you to get a wrong answer from beyond the grave."

I glared at him and said, "Then what good are you to me."

"Good for you? Little Jedi, I am here to give you information about your decision. The Force has a Skywalker destiny for you regardless of whether or not you want to be a Jedi or a Skywalker. Part of that destiny is that you must trust the Force. That is why I am good for you. I'm here to show you that, to show you those visions that left you weak in the knees and kneeling there in the dirt."

His face softened slightly he sat down beside me and continued talking in a softer, milder voice.

"Before he died, Tahiri's master, Master Irkrit, told me of a prophecy involving myself and Tahiri. He told us that together, we were stronger than the sum of our parts. We were also told that we had a special destiny, that something new belonged in the future to us. I died before that could come to pass, yet the Force demands that it still occur, and since it can no longer use us, it has chosen you to hold part of that destiny. No, no questions. I have said enough, too much. Remember, beware the dark side, when you are at peace you will always know what to do. You must not fall."

As he began to dissipate, he added one more thing, his icy eyes staring into mine, "Oh yeah, and tell Jacen, he never kissed Tahiri for me."

With those parting words, Anakin disappeared and I awoke. I opened my eyes to see Jysella staring at me, her sea green eyes bright and shining, a small half-smile on her face, as she reached out with her hand and touched the side of my face.

Her voice was small, weak and filled with emotion as she said "You've stayed."

I smiled in return, and placed my hand on top of hers and said "Of course."

The next day Jysella and I were released from the medical center. The healers had wanted to keep Jysella another day but Jysella fought it, as the memorial for her family was to be held on the day we were released.

As was done with all Jedi and their spouses, there was to be a memorial plinth to each in the Grotto. Each of the Horns received an Onyx plinth, and embedded in the front of each was the diamond.

Let me explain about that diamond, as I had to have Uncle Han explain it to me. It's like this, most Corellians do not bury their dead; Corellians tend to burn the dead. If they are on their home world, the ashes are launched into orbit and that orbit is allowed to decay. If they are to be interred off world, then their ashes are compressed into diamond for whatever memorial.

This is what we did with Corran, Mirax and Valin. That diamond that adorned each of their plinths was their mortal remains.

I stood there, my arm wrapped around Jysella, as my dad drove the plinths for each of them deep into the ground. They made tremendous booms, shaking the ground. It was a sad, solemn noise; it was a sound that says a Jedi has fallen.

Looking around, I noticed all the Jedi that had gathered, and oddly enough, all the smugglers that had gathered as well. It has been said that war makes for strange bedfellows, but I have to wonder if that applies to all death. It appeared to be the case here, as some of these smugglers were being hunted by Jedi not two weeks ago. Yet here they stand side by side, mourning for the loss of the Horns.

As clouds covered the sky, and it began to lightly rain, I thought it was fitting. Even Ossus mourned.

As everyone began to drift off, back to their meditations or their ships, back to their lives, I stood there with Jysella holding her, as the rain washed over us, hiding her tears.

Nothing of any great interest happened for the next two weeks. We did not find Tahiri, and we also realized that Lowbacca and Tesar had also been missing the entire time, or at least from the night that Corran and Mirax were killed. Another tidbit of information I overheard was that Corran's lightsaber was gone.

On a more personal note, Jysella spent most of her time in her room, with me there beside her. My parents were not that happy that I seemed so attached to her, especially when I started skipping lessons to stay near her.

I have to say that was a fun argument. It almost came to blows between mom and me. When dad stepped in between us, he told me that I was behaving in a manner unbecoming of a Jedi Knight. So I offered him my saber. I told him, if I was that much of a disappointment to the Order by looking after one of our own, I was not sure I wanted to be a part of it.

I don't think I had ever seen him or my mom look so surprised before or since.

Personally, I don't know which thought disturbed me more, that they were surprised I'd back talk them, or that they were surprised I would look out for my best friend.


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

Regardless, I began to get a little stir crazy. I needed to do something, and I wanted to do it with Jysella.

I sat on the steps that lead up to our porch, looking out into the woods. I remembered spending hours playing in those woods, quite often with Jysella herself. I smiled slightly as I remembered a particular day a few years ago, when we and a couple of other padawans went to a bluff about two klicks out that overlooked a deep natural spring. One of the other padawan's dared us all to jump in. I went first, with Jysella quickly following. Oddly I can't remember if any of the others actually jumped in.

That is when it hit me; I should take her on a picnic. I thought that the small bluff I had just been thinking about would be a perfect spot for a picnic and a swim.

With a mission in mind, I decide to go ask Jys. I knocked on her door, and received a soft "come" in return. As I entered her room, I felt a nervousness that was somewhat, alien to me. I continued the rest of the way into the room, as she turned her head to look at me.

She was sitting near an eastern facing window, wrapped in a blanket. The sunlight that shone in through that window, gave her an ethereal glow. I felt my breath catch in my throat, and my palms start to sweat as she gave me that half-smile of hers and said "Hey Ben."

I was nervous and did not understand exactly why.

"Will I go onto picnic me?"

Yes, that sentence is the beauty of the blasted Skywalker luck.

Blushing, I looked at her, and then down at my hands, I took a deep breath, and I tried the request again. "Will you go on a picnic with me?"

She really smiled at me when I asked her this, and for just a second I caught a flash of the old Jysella in her eyes as she said, "I'd love to, and now give me some privacy so I can get ready."

I returned her smile, and turned to leave, saying "We'll also go swimming if that's ok?"

My smile just grew larger as she replied "That sounds wonderful Ben"

With that large foolish smile on my face, I went about gathering the things that we would need on our picnic and swim, and placed them on the kitchen counter. Then I started making the food we would take with us.

When I was about halfway through, Jysella walked into the kitchen and helped me finish fixing the food. Of course, I went slower after she started helping, as I was very distracted by how her hand or thigh would brush against me, and everyone now and then I would find myself just watching her hands as she sliced some fruits and vegetables.

Finally done fixing the lunch, we packed it all into a basket, and I placed the rest of the things we were taking with us into a pack.

Then we hiked out to the spot I had picked out for our picnic. Even the hike was a lot of fun. We pointed out the different plants and animals as we walked along the game path, or other little things like an overly intricate arachnid's web.

Finally we arrived. I set up our blanket for the picnic, and pulled out the towels and other odds and ends that we would need after our swim and then declared it was time to go swimming.

She was dressed in the usual Jedi tunic and pants for the walk, but had her swimming outfit on under that, and I must admit I was utterly unprepared for it as she removed the outer garments. I just stared, my own preparations forgotten.

Jedi outfits tend to be loose, flowing and androgynous. A tight fit to the body is usually eschewed in favor of free range of movement. Where her swimming outfit covered skin, was anything but loose and flowing. She moved with a feline grace that I had never noticed before, one that was both economical of movement yet amazing to watch.

I was mesmerized by the way she moved.

Her legs were long and sculpted as hours on the sparring mat would accomplish, and the cut of her suit emphasized their length and shape. Her trim, athletic body seemed to be all curves. Everything about her seemed a far cry from the boyish playmate that used to run these woods with me.

I was transfixed by the sight of her.

Then she let her hair down. She has that deep black hair, where the highlights almost appear blue, and it was long, hanging nearly to the small of her back. The other thing I noticed was that it almost seemed to bounce with her every movement. She gave her head a small shake, loosening her hair, and I felt a nearly irresistible desire to run my hands through it.

And then she noticed.

She had glanced at me, and noticed my stare. A confused and self-conscious look crossed her face. She said, "What?"

"Noth, nothing," is what I managed to stammer out, managing to feel quite foolish again.

With a worried look still on her face she then asked "You are still coming swimming aren't you? Please?" In the Force I could feel her emotions, there was a lot of fear, fear of abandonment, fear of me teasing her, fear this was some type of joke and some other fear, one that I could not quite understand.

Sending her reassurance through the Force, I said "Of course I am." Then looking down at my hands, and felt my cheeks start to turn red, I started to remove my outer garments and I added "I, I just got, uhmm, distracted."

Understanding seem to explode in her Force presence as she blushed, and turned away from me, but not fast enough for me to not catch the slight smile that appeared on her face.

I finished stripping down to my own swimming outfit, walked to the edge of the bluff, and looked down to see the water. It was about a 50 meter drop, so with a quick smile at Jysella, I jumped in.

As I surfaced I saw her plunge into the water. It was a good afternoon. We spent about two hours swimming and playing and in general goofing off in the water.

Finally, our hunger told us it was time for us to get out and get some food. So we started climbing up the trail that led to the top of the bluff, Jysella leading and I was right behind her.

Once again, I was amazed by how she moved. It was like everything moved in random directions as she carefully picked her way back up the path, but it did so in a way where everything seemed graceful and smooth.

Just watching how she walked was all the distraction the root that got me needed.

Yes, I, a trained swordsman, who had sparred in terrain rougher and wilder than anything offered by Ossus, and doing so while blindfolded, was so distracted by Jysella that a simple loop root tripped me.

I heard myself hiss "Sith" as I hit the ground and heard Jys yell "Ben!" as I started my slide back down the path. Luckily for me, there was a nice tree about ten meters down the path which was willing to stop my slide.

By the time Jysella got to me, I was sitting up with my back leaning against the tree, and my legs stretched out in front of me. She got on her knees, straddling my legs, facing me and said, "Krif Skywalker! Don't do that to me."

She took my head in her hands, and tilted it so she could look at the scratch near my ear and asked me if I was hurt anywhere else. As she let go of my head, I looked at her face, the fear and worry in her beautiful, vibrant eyes, and admired the shape of her nose and lips.

Then instead of answering her questions about my health, I did what any self-respecting Jedi trainee would do. I wrapped her in my arms, pulled her to me and kissed her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

Ok, maybe not every self-respecting Jedi trainee would kiss Jysella, but I did, and I liked it.

At first she was surprised and then she responded. I felt her hands in my hair, holding me there. Then suddenly, too soon, she pulled away.

In the Force I could feel her excitement, but not her emotions. They were flying too fast for me to actually grasp what she was feeling. For a few seconds she just stared at me, absently biting her bottom lip, as if trying to make her mind up about something.

In those few seconds, I had gone from elation at kissing her, to horror that I had done something wrong. I lowered my eyes from her face, and started to say "I'm sorry." I expected to be slapped and have her walk away from me.

I was not wholly disappointed.

She had wrapped her arms around me and kissed me again. We remained there by that tree, just kissing, long enough for my hair to dry.

It was about that point, when my grumbling stomach interrupted us, and sent her into a fit of giggles. As she stood up she smiled at me, not her half smile, not the small blushing smile, but that real smile I had glimpsed earlier when I asked her to come on this picnic. It was a real smile, one that actually reached her eyes and brightened them. And it brightened me.

For the first time in weeks, she was actually happy. Was she still in pain and still hurting from the loss of her parents and brother? Of course, I could still feel that underneath, but for this moment, she was happy. And so was I.

We finished our walk up the trail, now walking side by side, holding hands. It was an experience that I enjoyed as much, if not more than, watching her walk up the slope earlier.

Like I said, it was a good afternoon.

Too bad the rest of the day sucked.

It started as we reached the top of the bluff. I just felt something off, like I was overlooking something important.

I looked around, noticing that all our stuff was still there on the blanket, yet still unable to get rid of that nagging feeling that something was different. That something was off. A low level buzz in the force, like a flitnat stuck in your ear.

I looked back at our blanket, and it hit me just as Jysella started to open the basket. Everything we had brought with us was out on the blanket, including stuff we had left in the basket and pack. Also, everything had been shifted around; forming a symbol, one of curls and swooshes, just like a child's interpretation of a river. Someone had turned our picnic makings into the Japor icon.

Horror bleed into the Force as Jysella screamed. In an instant I was at her side holding her. She was shaking her head, dread and fear replacing the happiness she had been feeling moments before. I heard her muttering "no" over and over again, and realized that she was still staring at the closed basket.

Reaching out I slowly lifted the lid to the basket and looked inside, finding what had caused her to scream. There in the basket was her master's severed head. A blade emitter shroud sticking out of Cilghal's mouth.

I went and grabbed one of our comlinks and commed my dad as I walked back over to Jysella and pulled her onto my lap and started comforting her.

When my dad came on the line, I told him what we had found and where we were.

As my dad and the crime scene techs arrived, I found it somewhat funny that my dad kept finding me and Jysella holding each other. As I thought that, a darker part of my mind added "and there's usually a dead body involved as well."

As my dad surveyed the area around us, I could feel him probing everything in the Force. It was always interesting to watch my dad use the Force, his hand in it was deft and light, more akin to the soft, light under-feathers of a Tatooine sandhawk chick than anything else.

As he turned his eyes onto me and Jysella and probed us as well, I saw his eyes widen slightly and could feel myself blush as he said "Should this trip have been chaperoned Ben?"

After a while, the crime techs were finished analyzing most things and had gotten the story from me, and bits and pieces of it from Jysella, as she was still somewhat in shock from Master Cilghal's death. Fortunately, I didn't have to draw my saber in order to convince the crime techs that she didn't need to be disturbed that much over this at that moment in time.

As we arrived home, my dad pointed to the main room, and said in a stern voice, "Both of you sit, while I go get Mara."

We sat down on the couch, close to one another, and I could feel her nervousness in the Force. I looked at her and asked, "Why are you nervous?"

She gave me this incredulous look. "These are your parents!", and then in a soft voice she whispered "It's your Mom!"

I took her hand in mine, and kissed the back of it. I then smiled at her. "It will be ok."

With that my parents walked in and sat down on the couch opposite of us, I felt Jysella tighten even more. I just held her hand, gave it a gentle squeeze, and smiled at my parents, waiting for them to start.

My father leaned forward, and put his hands together. "So, is there anything that the two of you wish to tell us?"

I felt the slight amusement from my Mom, the curiosity from my dad, and the fear of embarrassment from Jysella. So instead of answering the question as he wanted, mainly a discussion about my budding relationship with Jysella, I told them about me stealing some sweets from the pantry two years ago.

My dad looked at me and replied "You know exactly what we want to know Ben. And we really are not upset about it. What I really wanted to talk to the both of you about is that it is about time to return to your studies."

Jysella bowed her head and you could barely hear her as she said "Yes Master Skywalker."

Giving her hand a gentle squeeze, I said "I know dad."

Mom suddenly stood up, and took Jysella's hand from me. She smiled at her sweetly, which kind of scared me. "Come on, Jysella, let's go have a chat."

As they walked out of the room, Jysella looked over her shoulder at me, a scared look on her face and mouthed the word "help" to me. I sent her reassurance in the Force, and trusted my mom to not torture her.

I looked at my dad. "So, what exactly did you want to talk to me about?"

My dad laughed. "You have too much of your mother in you."

Then I felt a pain flash across my stomach. Gasping, I bent over due to it, and probed the Force. Whoever was in pain was close to me. It was family.

I reached out into the Force to determine where it was coming from, and discovered it was close and who it was. I heard myself say "Jacen."

As I stood up, I noticed Jysella rushing into the room in a near panic, and when she saw me rushed over to me, and grabbed me, asking me if I was hurt.

Looking at her, I told her that I was not the one in pain, stood up, and went towards the door."

We all ran out into the night, and off in the distance, we could just make out two lightsabers locked in combat.

I pulled my saber and used the Force to enhance my speed as I ran towards the battle.

Then one of the combatants won. The other fell to the ground, and the pain I had been feeling from Jacen spiked then disappeared. And with a sudden Force pulse, so did Jacen's Force presence.

Dimly I was aware that my dad had stumbled in his run. Up ahead I saw one of the forms kneel down beside the other, then looked our way and ran off into the night.

By the time I got to where the battle had been fought, there was no sign of the other person.

I looked down at the body of my Master. His chest flayed open, his internal organs damaged beyond all hope. On the ground beside him, was the symbol of the Japor icon burned into the stone of the pathway. Where his eyes should have been were the two cycling field energizers from a lightsaber.

I could feel the pain coming off my parents, and felt Jysella come up beside me and take my hand.


	14. Chapter 14

**Chapter 14**

It was a quiet walk back to my house. Mom had gone over to talk to Uncle Han and Aunt Leia, while Dad waited at the scene for the crime techs.

I sat down on the couch right next to the arm. While Jysella laid down on it and placed her head on the arm next to me, her body laid out across me so she could comfortably wrap her arms around me. I absently stroked her hair and thought about us, how each of us were now orphan Padawans. How she was an orphan for real.

Then the thought of how her lips tasted ruined my concentration.

Smiling slightly, I remembered that Booster had offered to take her away from Ossus, to travel with him on the _Errant Venture_. Startled, I realized I did not know if she had decided to stay or leave. Suddenly afraid, I softly asked if she had made a decision on Booster's offer.

She looked up at me, and I could tell by her eyes that she was almost asleep. "I had made a decision, but now I don't know. I found something that might be worth staying on Ossus for."

She fell asleep then; leaving me to wonder if what she had found here was what I hoped it was while at the same time scared that it was.

The next day Jaina was released from the med center, originally we were planning on having a party for her, but now we had to tell her that her last brother was dead.

Oddly, whenever I thought that my Master was dead, the only thing that would stick in my mind was that I never had the chance to tell him Anakin's last message.

Jysella, my parents, Jaina's parents, Jagged and I were all standing in the foyer of the med center, waiting for Jaina. As I looked around, my mind supplied images of what this place must have looked like after Tekli was slaughtered here. I grimaced and turned my focus onto the doors that Jaina should be coming out of soon and tried to get the image of the Japor icon in the blue-green of Tekli's blood on the transparisteel doors out of my mind.

Jaina finally walked out of the doors, her hand trailing slightly along the wall, guiding herself by touch. As I saw her, as I saw he wounds, the scar tissue that was now her sightless eyes, I threw my shields up as I felt my guilt well up once again.

Apparently I wasn't shielding good enough; for Jysella grabbed my hand and whispered that it was not my fault. Then she leaned against my shoulder and rested her head there.

I watched as Jaina turned her head first to her parents, then to mine. Probing the Force to see who had come to be there for her. As she probed me and Jysella, she smiled, and I felt her approval flow to us through the Force.

Then she turned to the final occupant of the room. She walked over to him, and threw her arms around him. I could see her lips moving as she was whispering in his ear, but they were to far away for me to hear what they were saying. I could not hear, but his reactions were interesting to watch. He stood apart from us, a frown on his face. As she clung to him, he just stood there, with his back straight and his arms not touching her. But as she started to sob, he finally held her.

It would have been perfect if only Jacen and Anakin could have been there as well.

That night as I lay in the bed, I felt a storm gathering in the Force. I closed my eyes and focused on the Force, trying to find the cause.

The only thing that came through was the smell of strawberries and honey.

Slipping out of my room, I walked down the hall to Jysella's room, and could feel the confusion and pain boiling in there. I slipped into the room, and saw Jysella's bed was empty. But the pain in the Force was still localized in the room.

I walked around the bed, and found her. She was sitting on the floor, her arms wrapped around her legs, her head down and laying on her arms, as she rocked slightly back and forth.

It broke my heart to see her hurting this bad, and know there was nothing I could do.

I sat beside her, and slipped my arm around her. She leaned into the embrace and once again started crying.

I opened myself to the Force, and reached out for her, and I felt her do the same. There we sat the entire night through, communing with the Force and each other. I knew her, knew her dreams and fears, her aspirations and failures. In this same way she knew me. In the Force we shared all of our most essential selves with one another.

I was told once, that Master Yoda described us as "Luminous beings" that night was the first time I had ever actually believed that statement.

By the time the sun rose, I could feel her clearer than I had ever felt anyone before. In fact, I could feel her clearer than I could feel anyone else on Ossus.

Long before I really wanted to move away from her, I could smell some type of meat cooking. I could also feel Jysella's hunger, and I was standing us up in a second, and said "Come on, dad's making food. There's probably some para-rolls too."

We walked into the kitchen hand in hand.

My dad looked at us, and dropped the plate he was holding.

I could feel Jysella start to get nervous

Then my mom came in from the other door, a cup of caf raised to her lips, she took one look at us, and nearly choked on it.

I started to get nervous.

Looking back and forth between my parents, seeing matching looks in their eyes as they both stared at us. I asked, "What?"

My mom's head shot around and she glared at my dad and ignoring the two of us said "This is your fault Farmboy."

My dad looked at her. "My fault? He's your son."

"Not when he does something like this."

At this point, I had had enough, and really wanted to know what the big deal was. After all, they had seen us holding hands before. I stepped between them, looked at my mom and then my dad. "Would one of you please tell me what you two are talking about."

Sighing, Dad motioned for us to sit down at the table, and he joined us as mom paced in the background, the frustration and shock rolling off of her. Then he started his story.

"Ben, you know some of this already, but Jysella needs to hear it all, so bear with me. The day I asked Mara to marry me, we were on a planet called Nirauan. Trapped in what was basically a death trap, designed for a Jedi. Mara and I had to delve deep into the Force to help one another survive. When we did so a bond was formed between us. A deep, personal, lasting, permanent bond. We later learned that only Jedi with high empathic skills can form these particular bonds with another Jedi, and they have to really open themselves up to the Force and to each other. This was a relief, when we learned this, as even then we were planning for the master/padawan relationship, and were worried that these bonds would develop between teacher and learner."

He paused here, to look at mom, and catch his breath and his thoughts. He looked as if he had aged another fifteen years in the past minute. Then he looked back towards us. "When you two walked in this morning, I could see that bond existing between the two of you."

Jysella and I just stared at dad. After all, what can you say to that?

After a few seconds, I looked towards Jysella, and was once again reminded of just how much I was attracted to her. I probed us both in the Force, and could now see the bright golden line which attached us one to the other. Reaching out to her through the bond, I sent a simple message to her, "I like it."

She looked towards me, a smile lit up her face as she said "Me too."


	15. Chapter 15

**Chapter 15**

My dad insisted that we attend our lessons that day.

So after we ate first meal, we went to our rooms and got ready. I noticed I had a message on my terminal. So I logged in, and found that the merchant on Naboo had finally sent a reply.

I opened the message, and read the story. Apparently, it belonged to a former queen, one Queen Amidala, later known as Senator Padme Naberrie, who had died near the end of the Clone Wars. During the days of the Empire, that particular family disappeared, and all their belongings were repossessed by various government officials. A former handmaiden, by the name of Sabe, sold the icon to the merchant. And there it had set for nearly fifty years until I had bought it.

I sat there and just stared at the monitor.

I had a hard time getting that concept around my head. That icon had been my grandmother's. For a moment, I sat and tried my best to figure out why my grandmother would own a Japor icon. It was a Tatooine wood.

And then it hit me.

My grandfather had been from Tatooine. My guess is that either he gave it to her, or she got it as a reminder of him.

That tidbit of family history explained the connection I felt to it. Of course I still did not understand why the dark one was putting it around those that were being killed.

I was frustrated. I wanted to know what it meant to whoever was doing this.

I felt Jysella's questioning probe through our bond; she had apparently felt my frustration and was worried. I sent reassurance to her and started heading towards the front door to go to class.

As I reached the door, I heard Jysella behind me say, "Ben, wait for me."

I turned and found myself once again watching her. She seemed more confident, more sure of herself this morning than she had in the past few weeks. I noticed little things, like the strand of hair that had escaped from where she had pulled her hair back. I noticed that she tucked it behind her ear twice as she walked down the hallway.

It was at that point, that I realized I thought of her as beautiful.

As she got closer I held out my hand and she took it in hers and smiled at me. "Thanks for waiting."

I started opening the door and any reply I might have made was cut off, by her scream.

Our house had a porch which the roof extended to cover. Leading up to the porch was a set of five or six steps. At set distances around the porch were columns.

Jysella had screamed, because tied to the columns, directly over the steps, right in front of our door, hung Saba.

Someone had skinned her. I saw something on the walkway behind her, and noticed that it was the same color as her skin used to be. It took me a few moments to realize that it was her skin. It took me another couple of moments to realize that it had been cut into the curls and swooshes of the Japor icon.

I focused on Saba again, and saw her lift her head and was amazed as she opened her eyes. In a hoarse voice she whispered "Thiz one hurtz."

As the thought that whoever had skinned her had done so while she was alive crossed my mind, I looked at Jysella and realized that she was starting to hyperventilate. I reached out for my parents, and felt them coming from the back of the house.

I felt a small tingle in the Force, and stepped closer to Jysella, between her and Saba.

Then Saba exploded.

The force of the explosion threw me and Jysella back into the house. I used the Force to pull her to me, and then tried to bleed some of our momentum. As we hit the wall, I felt my shoulder either dislocate or break as well as something in my arm give. Regardless, I heard myself scream. I could smell the stench of human and barabel flesh burning, making me nauseous.

When the first piece of shrapnel pierced my side, I twisted my screaming body around where I was covering her, protecting her.

At this point something warm, moist and heavy hit my head, and I lost consciousness.

I woke as someone slipped their arms under me. I felt myself being lifted, and wanted to stay in the dark where I felt no pain. Then whoever was picking me up, shifted me, and my burned back rested up against them. I screamed. I could hear my dad talking, but could not understand him, as I felt his Force presence flow into me, soothing me, calming my nerves, and turning off my pain receptors.

I was happy when oblivion claimed me again.

I awoke, and found myself once more in a Bacta Tank. I looked around and could see Jysella standing at the tank smiling at me. I could feel her joy at seeing me wake through our bond. A swift tug on my face mask caused me to look up, and I could see a tech up there, motioning for me to come up and get out.

I was happy to oblige.

Apparently when they brought me in, I was in bad shape. I had a concussion; I had dislocated my shoulder, and broken my humerus and ulna when I hit the wall. That piece of shrapnel that got me first was actually the primary crystal mount for a lightsaber and it had nicked my liver. Dozens of synthwood splinters were lodge in my back, arms and legs, the longest about the length of one of my fingers. And then there were the burns.

Like I said, I was in bad shape.

It did make me happy, to learn that Jysella, did not have nearly the injuries I did, and spent only a few days in Bacta, as opposed to my week.

As I was taken to my room at the med center, I could feel Jysella behind the orderlies, hovering. Laughing slightly to myself, I had to wonder if she felt this way when I did the same thing to her.

As soon as the orderlies had left, she jumped onto the bed and held me. I could feel her joy and happiness through the bond, even as I heard her start to cry. I held her and told her that everything was ok.

She lifted her head up and looked at me, the tears there in her eyes and said, "I thought I had lost you too. I really don't know what I would have done."

I touched her check. "You didn't lose me. I'm still here."

With that I pulled her head back down to kiss her, and there was a cough from the doorway.

She glanced that way, then pulled away fast, almost jumping out of the bed, as a blush crept up her cheeks.

I looked to her, saw that she had her head down, and was blushing furiously. Then I looked towards the doorway and saw my parents, and my aunt and uncle standing there.

I could feel the amusement from them all, but only Uncle Han spoke as he said with a smirk, "We're not interrupting anything are we?"


	16. Chapter 16

**Chapter 16**

I returned my uncle's smirk, and said, "Yes actually, you happen to be interrupting something very important."

They laughed as they walked into the room. They all gathered around me, saying the nonsense things that people say to you when you are in the med center. From the corner of my eye I saw Jysella heading out of the room, and I sent to her over our bond that I wanted her to stay. She ignored me, and continued heading towards the door.

Finally, I sat up, hissing at the slight pain that the movement caused me and said "Jys, please."

It was at this point that everyone in the room came to the conclusion that I was only paying attention to one of them, the one that was still trying to get out of the room without anyone noticing.

With the realization that everyone had noticed her attempts at escape, she finally stopped, and looked at me. I noticed that she was once again biting her lower lip. I could feel her fear and nervousness through our bond. I held my hand out to her, and put what I hoped to be a pleading look on my face. Then Aunt Leia came to the rescue. She walked over to Jysella, placed her arms around her, and guided her back to my bedside, placing Jysella's hand in mine. Smiling at Jysella, she said "I think Ben wants you here."

I could still feel Jysella's nervousness in the Force, and I sent her reassurance and acceptance through our bond.

I spent the rest of the week in the med center, about three of those days in Bacta.

I really don't like the taste of Bacta.

The day after I was finally released, I asked Jysella to go on a stroll with me.

For hours we walked hand in hand throughout the Temple grounds, no real destination in mind or sight. Every now and then, we stopped to steal a kiss or two, but in general we just enjoyed each others company chatting, talking about inconsequential things.

It was nearly dark when we arrived at the Skorch ball field. I pulled Jysella close to me to give her another kiss, and as we parted, I caught some movement on the fields, the fields that at this hour should have been empty.

Frowning, I motioned for Jysella to follow silently, and went to see what it was. As we slipped around one of the field's low walls, I noticed a dark form, hanging a body up on one of the walls.

I could feel my anger begin to surge, and could feel Jysella's fear climb as she felt my anger through our bond. I did a quick breathing exercise to bring my anger back under control and stepped out from around the wall that hid us.

My voice was loud and menacing. "Stop!"

The sound of my saber as it ignited cut the deathly still of the night.

The dark one turned towards me, dropping the body as if it was nothing more than an empty litter bag, and I could see the white hair and brown eyes of Master Solusar.

The dark one pulled out a saber, and with a snap hiss, a silver blade appeared. From behind me I could hear a sharp intake from Jysella as she recognized the blade and hilt. I could feel her anger through our bond, as she screamed "That's my father's blade. You're not even worthy to look at it."

Jysella's blade shot into life as she charged the dark one.

A slight warning in the Force and I yelled "No!" as the dark one used Force Lightning to throw Jysella against the wall we had been hiding behind.

Any control I may have had, vanished.

I attacked hard and fast. I quickly fought my way into the first ring of defense. A sneer on my face, hate in my eyes.

And that is when the second one appeared.

This one was stronger and faster, and dressed in the same dark robes, hiding all hopes of identification.

My mind made a connection. We had two dark ones and we had two male Jedi missing. "Jacen was right; you should have been left on Dagobah!"

Slash, parry. My world consisted of those two concepts. Attack, defend.

My goals were simple, protect Jysella and make the dark ones hurt.

Unfortunately, I was tired. I had spent the entire day roaming the grounds, and the past two weeks in the medical center. Saying I was tired was kind of a gross understatement actually.

I could not keep up the pace. One of the dark ones kicked me in the stomach, and then used the force to flip me over. I landed on the ground hard, and felt my saber skitter away from my hand and shut off, the wind knocked out of me.

When I was finally able to stand and look around, the dark ones had fled.

Pushing down my frustration, I ran over to Jysella and carefully turned her over. Smoke rose from the burned patches of her robe where the lightning had struck her. Blood matted her hair where she had been thrown against the wall. I held her close, and used my meager skills at Force Healing in an attempt to help her.

Finally, I could feel her start to stir.

She opened her eyes, and my heart skipped a beat. I helped her to her feet, and we made the slow walk to the medical center. As we reached it, I finally remembered to comm my dad about Master Solusar.

She was given a six hour dip in the Bacta tank.

As I took up my vigil outside of her tank, I felt my mom walk up behind me. I looked at her in the reflection of the tank. "It hurts for me to see her in there mom."

My mom simply replied, "I know. I've watched your father, and you now, float in one of these things enough. "

I felt the tears as they sprung to my eyes, clouding my vision. I heard myself say "Why are they doing this mom?"

"They?"

Realization that I had forgotten to tell my dad that there were two of them hit me. I turned and faced my mother. "I'm sorry mom, I was so worried about getting Jysella here, I forgot to tell dad. There are two of them. Two of the dark ones are out there. I think, I think its Tesar and Lowbacca."

I sat in a chair near the Bacta Tank, and for a while mom sat with me. I was thankful at her attempts at comforting me, but let's face it; my mother has never been real strong on the ability to comfort others. After awhile, she got a comm from dad and went to talk to him.

As I sat I dozed. As I dozed, I dreamed.

I found myself in an open area. A dark fog was all around me.

I looked left and saw Jysella walk up. I looked right and saw Tahiri walk up. I looked behind me, and saw one of the dark ones walk up. Then I faced ahead and saw the other dark one walk up.

As one, they said the word "Choose."

I looked towards Tahiri, and she said "I am the Unifying Force. I focus on the past, present and future as a whole. Destiny is more important than the moment. I help shape things to make them stronger."

I looked towards Jysella. "I am the Living Force. I focus on the moment. Instincts and sensitivity to living things are more important than destiny.

I looked towards the dark one in front of me. A hoarse whisper came from its mouth as it said "I am the Chaotic Force. I focus on the moment, and how I can bring myself the greatest power. Emotions rule me."

I turned to the dark one behind me. Again, the voice that came out was a hoarse whisper. "I am the Dominating Force. I focus on the past, present and future as a whole. I shape my destiny through my foreknowledge of it, such that I can control all."

As one, they said the word "Choose" and all extended their sabers hilts out to me.

Then with a gasp I awoke.


	17. Chapter 17

**Chapter 17**

For the next week, I had the same dream over and over again.

Every time I closed my eyes I could see the four of them, holding their sabers out to me chanting the word "Choose" over and over again.

Always I awoke before I could choose.

Always when I awoke I felt tired and worn.

I could feel my parents and Jysella's worry for me, as the dark circles under my eyes grew larger, and my eyes themselves became bloodshot.

I could not sleep.

I did not want to choose.

I had had enough time spent as the gardener.

I decided to go to one of the sparring rooms to get some exercise. I was hoping that I could wear myself out enough that I could actually get some sleep. I was hoping that with enough exercise I could ignore the frustration and despair that was now haunting me.

As soon as I walked through the door, I felt a warm, sticky liquid splash down over me. The copper tang of blood filled the air, as I looked down at my robes and hands. I was covered in it.

I looked forward and there was Kenth Hamner, a withered empty husk, the Japor icon burned onto the wall behind him.

I just stood there, that coppery smell filling my nose, making me somewhat nauseous, and my mind trying to process everything. There had been too much death, too much pain, and not enough sleep.

My mind wanted to just shut down. It wanted to stop thinking for a while, and not be concerned about anything. Not have to worry about blood and death, despair and pain.

I was only too willing to let it.

How long I stood there, just staring at my hands? I'm not entirely sure, but it was long enough for the blood to dry on me.

Eventually Tionne and a class of younglings walked into the room.

Fifteen screaming children was enough to shock me back to awareness.

I sank to my knees, and could feel the tears on my face. I cast out my feelings to Jysella, seeking her Force presence for the comfort and warmth I desperately needed, and she willingly provided.

I was taken to the med center, cleaned up and sedated.

At least I got some sleep.

I regained consciousness with something warm and soft cuddled next to me. The smell of strawberries and honey filled my nose. I reveled in the warmth and security. I glanced down, and all I could see was the top of Jysella's head lying on my chest, one of her arms thrown over my body. Her hair was unbound and all around us.

I shifted to try to see her better, which just made her cling to me tighter. So instead, I laid back and absently played with her hair until I fell asleep again.

As I slept I dreamed.

This time it was a different dream featuring the same characters.

I stood on a battleground. On one side were Jysella and Tahiri, and on the other the two dark ones. Behind Tahiri and Jysella there was a cloud, that was bright and shining, with streams of light and warmth pouring from it, feelings of acceptance poured from it. Behind the dark ones was a cloud that was dark and ominous, just the sight of it made me feel cold and alone. The sounds of lightning, fire and pain issued from it.

They rushed at each other. Ignited their sabers and attacked. Every time one was struck down, another would appear from their corresponding cloud.

Each time they emerged from the cloud; they would salute me and then rush into the battle and be struck down.

The corpses littered the ground.

It hurt every time I saw Jysella get struck down.

They were locked in battle. Dark against Light. Hope against despair. Love against hate.

But it was even deeper than that. As I watched, Tahiri would occasionally cut down Jysella, or one of the dark ones would cut down the other dark one. They all fought one another. It was not just light against dark. Tahiri and Jyeslla against the dark ones, it was also the Living and Chaotic Force against the Unifying and Dominating Force.

I wondered what it meant. What was I supposed to choose? Light or dark? Destiny or instinct? All of the above or some combination thereof. Was it a dual choice I was being offered here? Did I have to choose both a side, and a style?

How could I make a choice, when I did not understand what I was being asked?

I continued to just watch, not moving, barely breathing. Just watching.

Then the world dropped away. I stood alone once again. None of the characters that haunted my sleep, even their clouds were gone. I stood there like that alone, for what felt like an eternity.

I looked down and found myself standing on the galaxy, near the deep core. As I shifted, I could feel the galaxy tip one way or the other, so I scooted back to the balance point.

Up out of the darkness rose the four once again. They circled me and again I just watched.

Jysella stopped before me and said "I am the Living Force. I am the here and now for service and help."

The circle began moving again and a dark one stopped before me and said "I am the Chaotic Force. I am the here and now for attack and vengeance."

More movement and Tahiri stopped before me and said "I am the Unifying Force. I know destinies, and use them for the good of all."

Once again, they started moving, and once again they stopped. The final dark one stood before me and said "I am the Dominating Force. I know destinies and use them for power and rule."

The circle began moving again, running faster and faster around me. Then they stopped. And in sync they lifted a foot and stomped on the galaxy. I saw it split into four parts.

From each part shot a beam of colored light, green, orange, blue and red.

The beams of light solidified into ignited lightsabers.

Still acting as one they each grabbed the saber in front of them, and then screamed at me, "CHOOSE!"

Then they raised their sabers, and brought them down onto me.

I woke badly.


	18. Chapter 18

**Chapter 18**

I sat up suddenly, and Jysella fell off my chest and kind of slid to the floor. I heard her exclamation of pain as she hit the floor, and could feel that pain through our force bond. It just feed my fear and confusion. I pushed out with the Force, throwing my will behind the abilities of a Skywalker, and their ability to destroy. The walls facing the hallway and the other rooms cracked, but did not buckle. The wall with the window to the outside flew out and crashed to the ground.

Like I said, I woke badly.

By this time, Jysella was on the bed again, holding me, comforting me and calming me. I could feel the calm and peace she was sending to me over our Force Bond, and slowly the cloud of fear and confusion lifted.

Slowly my breathing and racing heartbeat returned to normal, and I sagged into Jysella's embrace.

Just in time for a couple of healers to rush into the room to see what the commotion was all about.

Of course, what I am most thankful for on that particular day is the fact that I did not smash Jys against the wall in my confusion. I am not sure what would have happened to me if I had done that, especially after the visions provided by Anakin. For that lesson was not lost on m. Without her, I would have fallen the night Jaina was blinded.

Once more I was released from the med center. Truthfully, I was beginning to wonder if those guys were getting sick of me. Especially since that was the second room that I had destroyed.

We all returned home and that night I slept without any dreams, or at least none that I remembered. Oddly, I felt alone when I woke, like something was missing.

I felt Jysella through our Force Bond, as she requested that I meet her for first meal, as she had some early lessons to attend. I was quite happy to spend the time with her.

After the meal, I asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her class. Her smile was all the yes I needed.

As we walked towards the Jedi temple, the sound of lightsabers increased in volume. Frowning, I asked, "I wonder who's practicing outside today?"

As we rounded the corner I got my answer.

There was one of the dark ones, plus the Omwati Jedi Tiu Zax locked in combat. With a flick of the wrist, the dark one took Tiu's arm off right above the elbow. Her scream rang in my ears, as I ignited my saber and charged.

As I fought the dark one, I could feel Jysella helping Tiu, and sent along our Force Bond asking that she get help.

My frustration at the fight began to grow. My opponent kept switching lightsaber styles. Keeping me off balance and reactive. Then with a flick of the hand, I was sent flying backwards as an unexpected Force push hit me in the chest.

I stood up, and saw the dark one running towards the woods.

Saying a few of those Correllian words, I took off in chase.

As I neared the woods, I heard Jysella scream out "Ben wait!"

Then I plunged into the woods.

I could feel Jysella's fears through our bond, and I sent her reassurance back through it. I was this close to one of the dark ones; it was not going to escape me.

I ran, the dark one always just a flash in the distance as I followed it.

I used the Force to work my muscles, keep them from tiring, but I still started to get a stitch in my side.

Finally I had to stop.

I looked around the clearing I was in, a strange sense of foreboding falling over me. Even though I had never been in this part of the woods before, I could not help but feel I had visited this place. Even the cry of the whorling as it flew overhead added to that sense of familiarity.

I looked around my surroundings, stretching out with the Force that was how I found it at first. There was a bubble in the Force. I could just make out the ysalamiri hanging on the trees.

And then I saw the cage, just as it had been in my dreams. Tahiri's ragged form was there, hanging limp, wearing the dirty, ragged remains of the clothes I had last seen her in. Clothes so worn and torn, they did not truly cover her. Her hair dirty and mud crusted. It appeared the only thing that kept her upright was the fact that the cage was not wide enough for her to move, and she was manacled into place. She was incredibly thin, looking as she had been on starvation staples since her disappearance. The final thing I noticed, were the cuts. She had a number of them, on her arms, legs and chest. Some still oozing, others colored the bright red of infection.

I cut the ysalamiri in half, and slowly I walked up to her. She lifted her head, and looked at me, but did not see me. The utter hopelessness found within those eyes hurt. I saw her lips moving, as she whispered "nojay" over and over again.

I whispered "Tahiri" and she cringed from the sound of my voice, and I had to wonder what happened to her that could make a Jedi that frightened.

Jysella then ran into the clearing as well, she was breathing heavy, and I heard her gasp as she saw Tahiri hanging in the cage.

I cut open the cage and manacles, and she fell out onto me, the remains of her clothes basically disintegrating. I sat her on the ground and put my robe around her, as she started to shiver and shake. Absently, I noticed she was still wearing the Japor icon.

Jysella knelt beside her, and started trying to heal her, as I fished out my comm and started to call my dad.

From the far side of the clearing, I heard a rustle. As I watched where I had heard the sound come from, Lowbacca and Tesar came strolling out.

When they saw Tahiri, Lowbacca roared a wookie challenge and Tesar said "Jacenzz whelp"

Then both ignited their sabers.

I tossed Jysella my comm and told her to get a hold of my parents, and I ignited my saber. I smirked at Tesar. "What happened to your tail Tesar? It's just a little stump nowadays. You'll have a lot of growing up to do, if you ever want to be a longtail."

That bit of taunting was all that was needed. Tesar's predator instincts took over, and he rushed and attacked. I set myself to receive and defend, and Tesar jumped towards me. As he flew at me, he started sissing.

He landed and struck with a powerful overhand blow. I used my blade to knock it slightly off course, allowing me to sneak into the first ring of defense, and send my elbow flying into Tesar's jaw, breaking it and knocking out two of his teeth.

He stopped sissing.

Feeling a tingle in the Force, I side stepped as Lowbacca's orange saber sliced through the air where I had just been standing. I flipped over him, landing so that I now faced them both rather than stood between them.

As we circled one another, our blades pointed to the fulcrum of our circle, I looked pointedly at Tesar and asked "Why would you kill your own mother that way?"

His eyes harden into tiny bits of flint, and I was given just a second's warning in the Force as he attacked once more. But that second was all the time I need. I set myself into a defensive posture as Tesar rushed me. His attacks were wild, his blows wide. I easily sneaked inside of his range and supplied another elbow to his face, cracking the other side of his jaw.

Then I twisted my saber around, and stabbed down, cutting into his leg. Before I could continue the cut enough to remove it, I had to roll as Lowbacca's blade swung through where I had been standing. I jumped up and tried to kick him in the side, but his longer arms allowed him to land a blow against me. I flew and smashed against a tree, and felt a rib crack.

I got up, and Tesar was there once again, coming in at a run, close to the ground. He lifted himself up, cutting upwards with his blade; I used my own to deflect it away from me, which overbalanced Tesar. I then stomped down on his arm.

I felt a dark satisfaction when I heard his arm snap.

Then I had to roll, as Lowbacca was once more swinging his saber. I stood and swung at Lowbacca with a quick one-two slash, which scored him across the chest and muzzle. He howled in pain, and again, that dark satisfaction bubbled within me.

Once again, we began to circling one another. I was beginning to tire, but these two appeared full of energy and ready to keep at it. I knew barabel's could continue going long after injuries that would drop a lesser species, and the same applied to wookies.

For the first time, I wondered if I would actually live through this fight.

Fortunately, I did not have time to think about it, as Lowbacca once more rushed into range, swinging his blade fast and furiously. I parried, and tried to counter attack, but Lowbacca fell back, and Tesar came at me from the side. I swung my arm up, used the Force to send him flying into the woods. I sensed his frustration as he started running back to the clearing.

I turned my attention to Lowbacca again, and darted in, I tried to get in and out of his reach fast enough so he could not seriously hurt me. Yet I was unable to do so.

All too soon, Tesar was once more there, swinging his blade, when he thought I would fail to notice his approach. I flipped over him, and landed on his shoulders, driving him to the ground. I swung at his head, but was only able to score it, as I had to jump away to keep Lowbacca's blade from bisecting me.

I rolled away, and Lowbacca came on. He attacked with a low-high-low number. I parried, ducked and then jumped at Lowbacca. I slammed my fist into Lowbacca's throat, in an attempt to crush his wind pipe. He backpedaled, and I failed to supply enough force, but I could hear him gurgling, attempting to catch his breath.

Then I felt something slam into my back, which knocked me down. I rolled with the impact and barely managed to not end up gasping for breath myself. I stopped the roll on my back, and threw up my blade as Tesar's came smashing down.

I kicked out at Tesar's knees, but he just danced out of the way, and tried to take off my foot.

I pulled it back, and did a back flip to get into a standing position, as Tesar once more walked towards me, his blade held at a low ready. I raised mine to a high ready and we started to circle.

I could feel my frustration, and my weariness. I knew the limits of my endurance were coming up soon, but still I fought on.

Tesar lunged for me, and I was able to once more dodge, but this time I landed a good blow, stabbing him through the stomach.

Again, that dark satisfaction filled me as Tesar doubled over from the pain.

In the back of my mind, I could feel the Dark Side offering me the power to destroy them quickly and efficiently.

I wanted to accept.

Tesar stood straight once more. I began to despair.

I attacked hard and fast, alternating my blows to the right and left.

I struck to the left and said "I."

I struck to the right. "Hate."

I feinted left, but swung my saber laterally at neck height. "Lizards."

Again that dark satisfaction filled me as I watched Tesar's head land a couple hand spans away from his body.

I was wearied though, and I sagged, exhaling heavily and sinking to my knees.

Then I was picked up and hurled across the clearing, slamming into a tree, hearing one more of my ribs snap. I heard a scream, belatedly realizing that it was from me.

I struggled to stand, my breath coming in ragged gasps. My broken ribs hurt with every movement.

I coughed and could taste blood.

I looked at Lowbacca and said "You have no honor."

Lowbacca roared and charged.

I side stepped and sliced off his sword arm, which served to only enrage him more.

Finally my reflexes were just too slow to evade his reach any longer. Lowbacca back handed me, I was once more flung against a tree. This time though a pointed stub of a tree branch stabbed through my shoulder, causing me to drop my blade and scream out in pain.

I could see his feral grin as he walked up to me and raised his blade to deliver a killing stroke.

I closed my eyes and prepared myself for death.


	19. Chapter 19

**Chapter 19**

I was not wholly disappointed.

I heard the snap-hiss of an igniting saber.

The realization that Lowbacca already had his saber ignited came through my pain addled mind, so I opened my eyes to see Lowbacca standing in front of me, his eyes staring in amazement at the shaft of blue plasma that extended from the middle of his chest.

The scent of burned wookie fur hung on the air.

The saber switched off, and Lowbacca fell to the ground dead. Revealing Jysella standing there, a look of shock on her face over what she had just done.

Her chest was heaving, her eyes opened wide. "I. He, he was going to k-kill you. I c-couldn't let him do that. If I hadn't, you would've died. Ben, I..I k-k-killed h-him."

I held out my hand to her, and she rushed to me, collapsed against me and started to cry.

I could feel her confusion and anger through our bond. I just held her, my good arm hugging her tight against me. I whispered consoling words into her ear as she sobbed "I killed him," over and over again.

The dark part of my mind whispered "The first one is always hardest."

Finally my parents and some other Jedi arrived at the clearing.

That dark part of my mind once again whispered, "What have we here, the Masters find you and Jysella cuddling over a bunch of dead Jedi. This is starting to become commonplace."

I tried my best to ignore it.

We were taken back to the med center, where Tahiri and I were dunked into Bacta.

Did I mention I hate the taste of Bacta?

Tahiri was decanted first as her main physical problems were dehydration, exposure and malnutrition. Of course, she was still pretty catatonic when I was decanted. When spoken to or touched she would cringe. When the lights were turned out she would often start to whimper and would repeat the phrase "nojay" over and over again for hours.

Her fire had gone out, now all that remained were the embers of her pain and scars.

A few days after Tahiri, I was decanted. I still had a stiff shoulder and sore ribs. I looked at the tech and asked if Bacta lost its potency the more often you used it. The tech laughed, and said it's not supposed to, but then they did not usually have someone in it as often as I had been lately.

Tahiri had gained some weight, and her physical wounds were healed. Yet she was still hurting and in pain. Any sudden movements or noises could send her skittering into a corner like a frightened child.

And then there was the phrase "nojay" that she would sit and say.

I think of all the behaviors that Tahiri displayed during those weeks after we found her, it was her saying that phrase over and over again that disturbed me the most. I asked my dad if it was a Tusken word and he said no. Then I sent a message to Danni Quee and asked if it was a Vong word and she said that if it was, it was one she had not heard before.

What it meant to Tahiri none of us knew, nor could we have guessed.

Jysella and I often went to visit her, sometimes together, sometimes alone.

It was a few weeks after the fight against Lowbacca and Tesar, I searched for Jysella over our Force Bond and she gave me a mental image of Tahiri in the med center.

When I got there, I stood in the doorway and watched them for a moment. They were both sitting on the bed, Jysella behind Tahiri, brushing her hair. Tahiri looking down, but at least not cringing at every touch the way she had been doing for weeks.

I walked in, and kissed Jysella on the cheek and sat down in a chair beside the bed, and continued to watch as Jysella brushed Tahiri's blonde hair.

I still considered Tahiri beautiful and amazing, but when you put the two of them next to one another, there was just no comparison. Jys blew away the competition.

Tahiri's fiddling is what brought it to my attention. She still had on the Japor icon. I looked at Jysella and said "You know, we never did figure out what the meaning of the Japor icon on all the various crime scenes was."

Jysella made a non-committal noise, and I considered that since it adorned her forehead in the white of scar tissue, that maybe she was not the best person to talk about it with.

Truth be told, I often did not even see the scar, or maybe I was just attracted to girls with them. Maybe that is a part of growing up in a post Vong War galaxy.

I spent a while longer with the two of them, but then it was time for my next lesson. I stood up and once more kissed Jysella, and touched Tahiri on the shoulder. As I turned to leave, Tahiri grabbed my arm and twisted.

As I tried to slip out of her grip, she used to force to fling me against the wall. The rage sat there in her eyes as she spat out "Don't touch me."

Jysella put her hands on Tahiri's shoulders and I could feel the calm she sent to the older girl. "Its okay Tahiri, that's just Ben."

"He's HIS apprentice" was her hissed reply.

"Whose?"

"Jacen's." As she said this the vehemence and hate was thick in her voice.

I looked up and noticed my dad in the doorway watching, listening and judging.

Jysella either ignored my dad or did not see him as she continued talking to Tahiri, "Jacen is dead. He was cut down weeks ago, weeks before we found you. His body is still in the morgue. We're not having the memorial until Tenel Ka can get some time away from Hapes."

Tahiri looked at Jysella, and for the first time I saw tears in her eyes. "No, that can't be. He did this to me. He did it. I...I saw him."

My dad stepped fully into the room, and finally spoke "Tahiri, Jacen is dead and has been for awhile. It is time you stopped putting blame at his doorstep."

Tahiri's head shot around to look at my dad. "But Master, he betrayed us." And in a quieter voice she added "he betrayed me."

My dad opened his mouth to say something but she cut him off.

"He kept me in that cage, like, like I was some type of animal. He, he said I was his ss-sl-slave." I noticed that the tears that had been in her eyes had started flowing freely as she continued speaking. "He br-broke me, used me. Over and over again."

Her voice lowered, as the pain of what she was telling us increased, "All the while he was doing this, he was telling me I was worthless, that you didn't care about me or any of us. That the only thing I was good for was whatever degrading thing he dreamed up."

The hate and anger that was in her voice turned it cold and hard. "And he has a vivid imagination."

My dad's voice sounded like granite. "Jacen is dead."

I looked at him, and did not recognize him at all. Like one of those light puzzles, where it only makes sense if seen in a certain light or from a specific angle, the hard face, the cold eyes, he just did not look like my dad. He definitely did not act like it.

As my dad turned to leave, she said one last thing, her voice filled with pain. "He raped me you know. Mind and body, he raped me. And you protect him. Just as you always did."

My dad didn't even stop.

Tahiri cried.


	20. Chapter 20

**Chapter 20**

Tahiri looked up at Jysella the tears still flowing freely, and asked, "You believe me don't you?" The hurt, fear and desperate need for someone, anyone, to have faith in her, was evident in her eyes.

Jysella smiled at her. "Of course I do."

I sent Jysella reassurance in the Force and went to my class, still disturbed by what Tahiri said, and how my dad was acting. I was still disturbed because I did not know how to fix it.

That night, I sat in my room, watching the stars. I noticed a ship launch, and fly off, which caught my attention because there were not supposed to be any launches that night.

I sent my mind out searching for Jysella and felt her presence at the med center asleep.

Fear and worry blossomed within me as it was not in Jysella's habits to sleep at the med center. I made a quick decision and snuck out of the house and ran over to the med center.

I went to Tahiri's room, and noticed that the lights were out, and she was asleep on the bed.

Walking into the room, looking for Jysella in a chair, I finally noticed that the girl asleep on the bed had black hair. I rushed to her side, and woke her. I could feel her confusion through our bond, as she looked at me and asked where Tahiri was.

The next morning, we told my dad what happened the night before. I made it plain to my dad that I was worried about her. Yet for some reason, when it came to Tahiri, there was just no emotion there. No concern, no compassion, no anger, nothing.

Any attempts to talk to my mom were met with the same results.

To say I was frustrated would have been an understatement.

During lunch, Jysella and I were talking about it, when she reminded me of a simple fact. She owned a star ship. She said we could just sneak off and go find her, if we only knew where she had went.

This is when I told her about the vision I had after Zekk was killed.

So we went to the landing field and got aboard the Skate. As we lifted off, we received a couple of distressed calls from flight control, which we promptly ignored.

And then, we were off.

We had taken off without the blessing of the Jedi Council. It was only as we pulled the levers to enter hyperspace exactly what that meant hit me.

I looked at Jysella and said "You know we will probably be expelled from the Order for this."

Her eyes opened slightly wider, and she bit at her bottom lip as she considered the ramifications of what we had just done. "Do you think your Dad would really expel us?"

I looked at her, thinking, considering, "I'm not entirely sure. We have really gone against protocol doing this, and he may see it as putting our concerns for Tahiri over our duty to the Jedi. And you've seen him where Tahiri is concerned."

She was still biting her lower lip. "I don't know what I would do."

I looked at her, the tumultuous colors of hyperspace reflected off her face and eyes and replied "Well, you've spent your entire life being a Horn; you could always try your hand at being a Terrik."

She laughed at that, a lovely, clear, musical sound.

I got up and walked back to the common area, and saw something I thought I would never see. It was an astromech droid setting a table. I had seen Whistler numerous times, and even played him a few times at Dejarik, but I never thought that he would be able to set a table.

A day later we set down in Mos Eisely. As Jysella went about getting the ship provisioned and cared for, I went and got us a landspeeder, paying special attention to find one with colorings that krayt dragons did not find edible.

Then we were off, the Needles just a blurry haze in the distance. We were off, in a foolish attempt to finish our self-imposed hunt for a single Tusken Raider tribe in the wastes.

The Force was with us, sort of. It was the second day of travel; we were quickly passing through the Juudland Wastes, nearing the Needles, when we were set upon by a Raider band. A slug thrower took out the repulser on our speeder, and we crashed to the ground. The speeder dug a trench for a half a klick and I hit my head on the steering column.

While the blow to the head was not enough to knock me unconscious, it was enough to make me really woozy. A Tusken came over and picked me up out of the speeder and tossed me onto the ground, he then repeated the process with Jysella, throwing her on top of me.

I heard the honks and growls of their language, and all the warriors around me backed off and away.

I looked up and she walked up from the desert.

She was dressed in the sand color strips of cloth as all the rest of the Tuskens were, with a few exceptions. She had a blue belt, the color of the Tatooine sky, wrapped around her waist, and her golden hair was tied up with a ribbon of the same color. The other difference is that she left her face and head uncovered.

She sat down in the sand beside us and asked, "Why did you follow me?"

"You're a Jedi, we were worried about you."

The bitterness turned her voice hard as she replied, "Like that really makes a difference anymore. If you're not a Solo or Skywalker, or one of their pets, then the Grand Master has no concern for you."

She stood up and gave a loud whistle, and out from the shimmering heat haze came a bantha. When it got close to her, Tahiri patted its side and climb up upon it. She looked at us sadly. "I cannot return with you. I, I am…content here; my people will protect me from him now."

"We could protect you."

Tahiri looked at us both sadly, and shook her head. "No, I do not want to risk that. Truthfully, I even fear that he could destroy my people. Our stories tell of a dark avenging demon with a fire blade that destroys whole tribes. Sounds like a Jedi to me."

I stepped closer to her. "But Tahiri."

With an angry slash of her hand, she cut me off and I saw her eyes harden with anger. She opened her mouth and spoke in a loud voice. "You should not have come here. We will be lenient this once. Leave Tatooine and do not return."

I could see the pain and unshed tears in her eyes. "Tell your Master I will never come to him again. I will never be his again. I will seek death before I become his slave again. The Jedi have no place for me. The Yuuzhan Vong have no place for me. I am Ghorfa. And Ghorfa will I be until it is my time to become one with the Force, until I can see my Anakin again."

As she said this last, the tribe of sand people came up behind her, all on their banthas. They lined themselves up behind Tahiri in single file, and as one they turned from us, and began their journey deeper into the Wastes.

Suddenly, Tahiri stopped and slid off her bantha. She ran back to Jysella, placed something in her hands, whispered something into her ear, and gave her a quick hug. With that done, she ran back to her bantha, climbed up and the tribe walked off.

I took Jysella's hand and watched them as they disappeared into the heat haze.

I looked towards Jysella and saw that she was staring at the hand I was not holding, looking at what Tahiri had given her. It was the Japor icon. Without looking up, she started speaking. "Tahiri said that this belonged to me now. She said that the one who gave it to her thought it a symbol of love. And now that love, and this symbol were mine."

I silently wondered if Tahiri was right.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

I went over to the speeder to see what I could do with it. Luckily the Tusken's shot damaged something that I actually knew how to fix.

A few hours later, we were on our way back to the Skate, this time hoping to not find any Tuskens.

As we lifted off from Tatooine, I thought back to when I first saw Tahiri. It was during the Swarm War, and she was walking around with one of the Killiks on her shoulder. I smiled as I remembered my friend Gorog. My thoughts drifted to everything that had happened since Tahiri and the others came back from Dagobah. All the Jedi killed, the fear, the pain. I hoped that whatever demons drove Tahiri to run from the Order, she conquered. I wondered if I would ever see her again.

Then my thoughts turned darker, and for the first time I wondered if what Tahiri had said in the med center was true. Did my dead Master have something to do with her being imprisoned? Did he really abuse her in the ways she said, or were those misguided delusions and illusions supplied by the other Exiles.

I still had so many questions, and not nearly enough answers.

Then before my thoughts could continue along that path, Jysella stuck a wet finger in my ear.

I could hear her laughter as I twisted away from the unwelcome sensation. I turned my chair to look at her where she stood by the cockpit entrance and growled "I'll get you for that Horn."

She just gave me that half smile of hers.

I lunged at her. Or at least I tried to. I got about two centimeters out of the seat, before my crash restraints pulled me back into it.

I looked up at her laughter, but all I saw was her hair heading towards the common area of the ship.

I unbuckled myself and stalked after her. I found her sitting at the table, innocently reading a datapad. As I came around the corner, she looked up at me, and gave me the sweetest smile I had ever seen and chirped "Hiya Ben."

I slid in beside her, and kissed her neck. She leaned against me; I slipped my arms around her, and then tickled her. She squealed as I continued, and started screaming for me to stop it. When I finally did, I smirked at her. "Told you I'd get you for it."

It was a good distraction, one we desperately needed.

As we arrived at Ossus, the comm made the chirping sound indicating someone wanted to talk to us. I answered it, and the voice on the other end said "Pulsar Skate, you are to proceed to landing area 14 Alpha and then report to Master Skywalker's office immediately."

I could feel Jysella's worry and fear in the Force, and sent her reassurance. I glanced at her, and saw she was biting her lower lip again. Noticing that, I smiled. "Did I ever tell you how cute you are when you bite your lower lip?"

I could see the blush rise up on her cheeks as she suddenly stopped biting her lip.

We landed the Skate right next to Master Katarn's Raven's Claw. I sat in the cockpit beside Jysella while she did her post flight checks, just watching her. As she reached up to the upper corner of her station, movement caught my eye. Focusing on it, I realized that she was wearing the Japor icon.

Once again, I started wondering if Tahiri was right. Did I actually love Jysella? Just as important, to me at least, was the question of did Jysella love me?

"You coming Skywalker?"

Startled, I focused on her seat and saw that she wasn't there anymore. I looked towards the portal, and she was standing there, that half smile of hers on her face. I could feel her amusement through our Force bond, as I unbuckled my restraints. I gave her my best Uncle Han grin. "Watch it Horn, remember I tickle."

I lunged for her, and she laughed as she danced out of the way, making a run for the hatch. I slowly followed, and as I came around the corner where I could see the hatch, I saw her hitting the open button repeatedly, glancing over her shoulder, a smile on her face.

The ramp finished lowering, and Jysella darted out. I heard a loud thump, and could feel pain coming from Jysella through our bond. I sent a questioning probe to her, and in return got an image of her slipping on a sticky blackish liquid which covered the ground of the landing area.

Worry blossomed into my mind. I knew I had seen that particular color on a floor before, and it was not in a landing field. Then I remembered where it was that I had seen that exact color of blackish liquid. It was memorable, because there had been fifteen children screaming at me at the time.

I rushed down the ramp, and could feel horror begin rolling off of Jysella, and a low level tingle in the Force.

I ran to the front of the Raven's Claw and discovered Jysella and Master Katarn.

He had been bolted to the bow of his ship, a blackened circular hole in the middle of his forehead. Inserted into the hull of the ship beside him was the handle of a lightsaber. I reached up and pulled it out, and looked at its distinctive design, it was one I had seen before, but could not place. I looked into the shaft, and noticed that all the pieces had been removed. As I searched my memory, Jysella spoke from beside me, "Its Tahiri's. We never found it in the clearing."

The low level tingle, suddenly flashed as my danger sense went into overdrive. I reached for my saber, and started turning around when a large coolant drum slammed into my side flinging me against the Raven's Claw. I heard two snap-hisses as I pushed the drum off of me, and saw Jysella and one of the dark ones locked in combat.

The dark one picked up another drum and flung it at Jysella, who deftly hopped over it to land beside me.

Amusement rolled off the dark form, crashing over us in waves, intermingled with its hate and anger. We separated, in an attempt to flank the dark one.

Suddenly, Jysella sprang, her saber angled for a kill strike.

I leapt as well, in a similar attack.

We met where the dark one had been standing. I looked left, just in time to get a boot to the face, knocking me backwards. I touched the Force; just enough to ensure that I landed in an upright position.

I could feel my anger start to build as the dark one pressed Jysella, attacked her. Instincts took over. Everything I was, screamed at me that I had to protect Jysella.

I launched myself at the dark one's back, yet the dark one just waved an arm in my direction and I was flung against the Skate. I said one of those Correllian words when I heard another of my ribs crack. My pain was intermixed with my hate and anger.

Forcing my anger down, I ran at the dark one, and grabbed a drum at the same time. As I closed into sparring range, I flung the drum at it. The dark one had set up a defense against my saber, and was caught entirely off guard by the drum.

The drum and the dark one finally land in a small park right off of the landing field.

I could feel Jysella's fear and worry in our bond as we ran to attack once more.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter 22**

As we ran at the dark one, it just stood there in a defensive posture. Standing, waiting, ready.

We waded in and attacked. I swung my blade in a right to left fashion, but the dark one was quicker. Its blade deftly got in underneath mine and pushed mine up and away. It then twisted the blade and made a stab for my heart.

Jysella's blade shot in and deflected it away as I tried to dance out of range. With the grace of a sandpanther, she twisted from the parry and attacked. She was constantly moving, never staying still for more than a moment, never dropping her guard.

I really did enjoy watching her move. I just wished that we weren't fighting for our lives so I could enjoy it more.

A quick Force pulse and Jysella was across the clearing. I came in with a fast thrust, which was easily parried, but I followed through with a kick to the dark one's knee. It jumped up and over my head, and I swung my blade that way, intercepting the one that was coming down at my head as the dark one landed.

The dark one and I started circling one another, sabers pointed directly at each other. Then I stopped. I could feel the dark one's confusion and I just smiled. I drew the Force to me and jumped up just as Jysella's blade shot through where I had just been standing.

Caught off guard, the dark one was to slow to evade entirely, and Jysella scored a strike across the dark one's chest.

I swung my saber in a wide arc, in an attempt to get him off balance so Jysella could hit with a swift surgical strike.

Unfortunately, it did not work that well. The dark one blocked my blade as I expected, but quickly Force pushed me flipping me over and parried Jyeslla's blow.

The dark one jumped as I started to stand, and crashed onto my back, driving my face into the dirt.

It stood there, standing on my back, fighting against Jysella.

My instincts were still screaming at me that I should protect her, my anger and hate spiraling once more out of control. I reached out with the Force and plucked the dark one of my back, and swung it against one of the large rocks in the area.

As I stood up once more, Jysella rushed past me, swinging her blade.

The dark one was a blur of motion, I saw a flash and Jysella's blade knocked wide, leaving her open.

I saw the dark one's blade extend out of Jysella's back, and her pain flooded the Force. I felt myself start to cry, and could hear the echoes of my scream.

I felt her pain.

I stood there, in front of a large rock, which at some point had been adorned with the Japor icon, my chest heaving as I cried. I called my saber back to my hand, and with a snap-hiss I ignited it.

I felt my hate.

All those who died, flashed through my mind. Everyone from Valin to Master Katarn. The lose of life. The pain. The confusion. I wanted it all to end. I wanted the power to end it.

I felt her fear.

I started moving towards the dark one. Slowly. Mechanically. My fear for Jysella's life a cold lump in my stomach. Absently, I wondered just how much giving into my rage would change me.

I felt my rage.

A sickening knot joined my fear for Jysella as realization sunk in. Lowbacca and Tesar were not the dark ones. Either Jysella and I, or all four of us were tricked, or just did not understand what was happening. That dark voice in my head said "If this is the dark one, then you murdered Tesar, and you made Jysella murder Lowbacca."

The Dark Side beckoned.

I heard Anakin's voice as he said "If you fall, so do the Jedi." In my mind's eye I could see Jysella as she clung to me and said "Please stay." I saw the dark one's blade as it stuck out of her lower back.

I gave in.

I ran at the dark one and attacked my blade a blur. The power of my hate gave me strength. I swung, and the dark one dodged, I flicked out my hand and the dark one was propelled against the rock again.

I swung my blade in an overhand attacked, and the dark one rolled away just as my blade carved into the rock. The dark one kicked up catching me in the stomach.

I doubled over, trying my best to not throw up, and felt myself instinctively roll away as a saber blade sliced through where I had been. I reached out with the Force and grabbed the drum and threw it once more at the dark one. I struggled to catch my breath.

The dark one just pushed the drum aside with the Force and laughed. It then spoke to me. A dark guttural voice, it sounded unnatural as it spoke. "Yes, I can feel your anger, your hate. Give in to them, they make you strong."

As the dark one said these things, I could feel Jysella lying on the ground and I remembered how she held me on the day Jaina was hurt. I closed my eyes, and remembered the smell of her hair. I could feel the Force singing to me. I remembered her whispering to me "Please stay." It was less of a plea for me to stay physically as it was an emotional plea, to stay with her in the Light.

I released my hate and my anger, I let go of my fear.

I opened my eyes onto the dreamscape, the four figures circling me, each stopping in turn, each saying "choose.'

So I did.

The next time Jysella, as the avatar for the Living Force, stopped in front of me; I stepped forward, grabbed her saber hilt, and closed my eyes. I heard a loud masculine voice, one that sounded vaguely like dad's. "You have chosen."

I opened my eyes, and saw the dark one rushing at me, anger pulsing in the Force.

Once more I flicked out my hand, and Force pushed the dark one against another rock. This time the large one with the Japor icon burned onto it.

Using all my strength of will, I held him against the stone. I walked closer, fully intent upon ending this permanently.

I could feel the dark one strain at my Force push; I feed my abilities with sheer will, and felt a tickle in the Force as the dark one focused on the ability to raise just an arm. The arm slowly raised and then shot out Force Lightning at me.

I raised my blade to catch it, but just barely missed. The pain shredded my nerves, disrupted my concentration and I screamed.

Yet I finally got a handle on how the Dark one was hiding. I understood what it was. It was a corruption of a Fallanassi technique at hiding in the Current. Suddenly so many things made sense. From how the holorecorders failed to catch Tekli's slaughter, to how the dark ones could so effectively hide in plain sight.

I flew at the dark one, my blade an attack for the dark one to focus on as my real attack came through the Force.

I was easily parried as I had expected. Yet my actual attack was still in progress as I tore at the edges of the illusion. Finally catching a hold of the corrupted Fallanassi illusion, I yanked it down, making the dark one scream in something approaching pain.

There before me was my dead Master, whole and alive.

I was stunned, and did something no Jedi, trainee or otherwise, should ever do, I dropped my guard in the presence of a Dark Jedi and just stared in shock. Even after recognizing the Fallanassi tricks, I did not expect it to be Jacen behind the illusion.

The blast of lightning he shot at me knocked me unconscious.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter 23**

I came to and could not see Jacen anywhere. I felt the pain of the betrayal, and the pain that was still coming off of Jysella. I walked over to her, and picked her up and carried her to the med center.

I walked into the lobby, just as my strength gave out. I fell to my knees and cried, not really wanting to let Jysella go as the healers rushed to my side and tried to get her out of my arms.

We both got to spend some more time in bacta, two hours for me and six days for Jysella.

When I was decanted and moved to my room, my dad was already there waiting for me. I sighed as I sat up because I could feel the frustration and anger coming from him.

"What did you and Jysella think you were doing? Running off in the Skate without even asking permission? I thought we had talked about this. And look what happened to Jysella!"

"We were worried about Tahiri. Someone had to be, you didn't care about her. Besides what happened to Jysella happened here on Ossus!"

The glare my dad sent my way had caused Jedi Masters to stop talking. I of course, did not take the hint.

"But even that is irrelevant. Tahiri was right. Jacen did all of this. Jacen tortured Tahiri the way she said he did."

The glare turned even harder and icier as he said "Jacen is dead."

I could feel my outrage and anger, so I did a simple breathing exercise to bring both back under control.

I jumped out of bed, and yelled over my shoulder, "Fine, if he is dead, let's go look at his body."

I stomped off to the morgue, with my father following closely. As we drew closer to our destination my mother joined us as well. The more the merrier is what I foolishly thought.

Finally we arrived, and went in. The chill caused our breath to appear as small clouds in front of us. I walked along the wall of cabinets looking for the one which held Jacen, and when I found it, I pulled it open.

Within was a body bag, the proper shape and length to be holding Jacen. I pulled the seam apart, and the sides slide open, revealing Jacen's face and body much as I had seen them the night that this body was put in here.

I was dumbfounded. I knew what I had seen.

I heard my dad's voice behind me. "See. Jacen is dead."

My mind raced. My confusion just grew.

And then I understood.

I reached out and ran my finger down one side of Jacen's nose, and when nothing happened did the same to the other side.

The result was as I expected. Jacen's face cracked open and started rolling backwards, his skin was unraveling itself, pushing itself down, until it was merely a puddle of flesh down at his feet. The face of Zak Arranda now stared sightlessly from where Jacen's had been lying mere moments before.

I grabbed the Ooglith Masquer and turned to my parents as I spate out "Jacen is dead is he."

They merely stared, apparently unable to process this physical proof of them being wrong about Jacen's death.

Finally my dad gave a slight shake and said "This is some type of trick. Jacen is dead."

I threw the masquer at my dad's feet, closed my eyes and focused on the Force, looking for something, anything to help me. I found it in my parents. It was a small black dot within their Force presences. Something that did not belong.

I searched my memory, trying to figure out what Force lore would cause such a thing. As I sat and wondered, a familiar voice intruded on my thoughts. "Krath"

My eyes shot open, and I found myself looking into the chocolate colored eyes of Jacen. "What you are looking at is a Krath form of the alter-mind ability. It forces them to hold onto a truth regardless of what anything else tells them."

His mouth twisted into an approximation of Uncle Han's grin as he continued, "It really is an interesting thing. It was specifically designed for use against Force-users. The stronger the victims are in the Force, the more real the compulsion is, the harder they will hold onto those memories and changes that I want them to."

Fear blossomed in me, as I probed my parents once again, and since I knew what to look for now, I noticed that their minds were covered in the little dots. I looked into my own head and saw one or two as well."

I opened my eyes. "Why?"

"'Why' is always a question that is bigger than its answer."

I could feel Jacen's power as he forcibly held my parents immobile, as he suppressed their wills. I shuddered at the thought of having to fight him again. I felt a flash of Force power coming from Jacen. "There. Now they will stay that way, until you and I are done here."

Jacen looked my way a smile on his face which gave me shivers. "So, which shall we kill first? Your mother? Or your father?"

I just stared at him, as he pulled out a lightsaber and ignited it. "I know, since you were nice enough to take care of those little pests Lowie and Tesar, I'll only take an arm from each of them. I must say Ben, it really was great of you to do that for me. I mean Tesar almost got me at the Horn house."

As he finished talking, his blade shot out twice, slicing off an arm from both of my parents.

I screamed "No!" as I felt the rage erupt within my heart. I leapt at Jacen, but he just waved his arm my way and I was slammed against the cabinets.

I closed my eyes and focused on getting my anger back under control, I could feel that Jacen was walking towards me, and was preparing himself to attack. "You should have just been a good Jedi Ben. Then you could have ruled by my side."

The dark lightning shot forth from his hand, arching towards me. I instinctively threw my hand out and focused on the lightning, on deflecting it away from me. Jacen's first blast hit and went up into the corner of the room frying the security cam. His second blast I deflected back toward him, which he then deflected into a diagnostic station.

His third blast, I grabbed. I pulled the energy in, and as he finished sending it my way, I had a ball of the rolling energy in my palm which I slowly absorbed as I closed my hand. I used that energy to calm my nerves and revitalize my muscles, which were still stiff from my time in the bacta tank.

I opened my eyes, moved away from the cabinets, closer to the autopsy table and calmly said "You have always been strong, but the taint of the Dark Side corrupts you. It is not too late, you can still renounce it."

Then in walked the other dark one. It dropped the illusion, and before me stood a woman, or at least what was left of her. She was about my dad's age. Somewhere in the vicinity of seventy-five percent of her body was cybernetics.

She smiled coldly at me, as she ran her hands through my dad's hair. "Don't waste your breath boy; your cousin is mine, as are your parents, and that pretty little thing that you have been spending so much of your time with. And as are you. All the Jedi are mine, and soon the galaxy shall be mine as well."

I could feel my fury erupt as she threatened those I held most dear.

Jacen looked towards me and said "Ben, may I present Lady Lumiya, Dark Lady of the Sith. My master."

I used another of those Correllian words here.

I watched her as she walked around my dad and then punched my mom in the face. She turned back to me, and said "You could have been a great Sith Lord Ben, just like your grandfather, but instead you turned out to be another weak minded Jedi. Jacen, kill him now."

Jacen gave a small half bow. "As you command, Mistress."

Lumiya walked out of the room, and Jacen ignited his saber with a snap-hiss.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

Jacen rushed at me, but I used the Force to open a cabinet in his way. I felt that dark satisfaction as he ran into it face first and fell to the ground, a large gash across the bridge of his nose.

I flip over the autopsy table that I had been leaning against, putting it between Jacen and myself, and ignited my saber.

Jacen was already standing by then, his blade in a high guard. I assume a mid guard, my blade going left to right across my chest. I look at him. "Why Jace? Why did you kill them?"

"Because they were in the way, and needed to be eliminated."

We slowly began to circle the autopsy table.

"And Tahiri?"

"Tahiri is mine. And I will find her again to posses her once more. But that is the future, for now your releasing her is enough to ensure that I will make you suffer."

As he talks I can feel my anger and rage at the things he did to her. Jacen smiles at me and said, "Yes, give into the anger. Of course I have to wonder why you are so angry, maybe Little Ben wanted Tahiri for himself. I must tell you cousin, she might be a little too much for you to handle."

His smile turned cold and predatory as he continued talking. "Of course it's a moot point now, isn't it Bennie, you're the one that set her free. Maybe since you let my toy go, I'll just have to take yours. She is kind of pretty."

I could feel the heat of my anger as it slowly settled into a cold rage. "You know Jace, I saw Anakin in a vision. He told me to remind you that you never did kiss Tahiri for him."

"That's funny, because I distinctly remember kissing her. Here want to see?" As Jacen said that, he reached out with the Force and pumped his memories into my head.

I screamed, because it hurt, both physically and emotionally. What I saw, what he poured into my head, I don't think I'll ever get over.

I could feel the pleasure that Jacen took in Tahiri's pain. I could feel how much he enjoyed the power of possessing her. I saw the things he did to her, felt them, and felt his emotions and pleasure at doing them. I saw the weeks of torture and violations. All the degrading things he dreamed up and then made her do.

I understood the hate that was in her voice the last time Tahiri had spoken to my dad. I was disgusted, and found myself on my knees.

I threw up the remains of my last meal.

Kneeling there on the ground, chest heaving, trying to catch my breath, my danger sense went off. Before I knew it, I was moving, rolling away, moments before Jacen landed where I had previously been.

I swung my saber at his legs, but he jumped up and landed on top of the autopsy table. Holding my saber out in front of me I stood up once again. "How, how could you do those things?"

As I looked at Jacen's eyes I noticed that they had a distinctly yellowish tint, giving them a reptilian look. "Tahiri is mine to do with as I wish."

I swung at Jacen, but he jumped out of the way. We took up our circle again. I still had questions that I wanted answers to. "What is it about that icon?"

Jacen laughed.

"That? That silly icon was just something Tahiri clung to for support. I carved it on Valin because he had the audacity to try and get her to spend time with him, to try to kiss her. You know, I think he actually snuck to Dagobah a couple of times to visit her. It was only after I found out that you had given it to her that Lumiya thought it needed to be added to every body. And it was fun to tell her how we used it on all those bodies."

I struck, my blade shot in while he was laughing. Jacen jumped up and over me, striking down at my head. I threw my blade up and caught his. I used the Force to push myself back towards him, and I collided with Jacen and we both went tumbling.

My elbow shot out and connected with Jacen's stomach and he made that 'oof' sound. Then I reached over my head, and used a combination of strength and the Force to flip Jacen over my head, throwing him against the autopsy table.

Jacen stood and rushed at me, we collided, our sabers crackled as they struck one another.

We broke, and then he swung again. Our blades locked, with Jacen pushing his closer and closer to me. Then he removed one of his hands, and our blades went to the side away from us, at the same time he grabs me and flings me against the cabinets.

As I start to stand, Jacen is there again, picking me and throwing me once more across the room. I slam into some diagnostic equipment doing thousands of credits in damage in one loud crash.

I stood and put myself into a defensive stance and prepared myself for Jacen's inevitable rush.

Jacen smiled that cold, predatory smile of his, and disappeared.

I reached out with the Force, trying to find him. His voice seemed to be coming from everywhere. "What I did to Tahiri, will look like a walk in the park compared to my new toy."

My concentration slipped as my anger and hate bubbled out of control. A small buzz in the Force was all the warning I received, and I was just barely able to get my blade around in a parry in time.

Then the pressure of Jacen's blow disappeared and I turned around, once more hunting for him.

The warning buzz appeared again, this time mere moments before Jacen's fist collided with my cheek. Either he was stronger than he had ever displayed during practice sessions or he put the Force behind the blow, because I found myself on the ground without a clear recollection of how I got there.

I stood up, my rage still a fire in my gut, and settled into a defensive posture again. Yet Jacen was still playing with his Force Illusions, making himself invisible. I turned, looking for him, and barely got the warning buzz as he once more punched me, this time right above my kidneys.

I sank to my knees, holding my side, and got another warning from the Force, at the same instant Jacen's foot connected with my stomach, bending me over. The force of the kick convinced my body it needed to throw up again.

I closed my eyes and sank into the Force.

I let go of the rage I felt at his threats against Jysella. I found my center.

I shut down my saber, stood up, kept my eyes closed, my focus on the Force, and could feel Jacen coming in to strike again. This time I twisted and grabbed his hand, and then wrapped it behind him. I spun him around, and with a loud bang, smashed his face against the cabinets. I placed the emitter of my saber against the back of his head and leaned in close to his ear. "You didn't listen to me Jacen. I said you never kissed Tahiri FOR Anakin. Everything you have ever done has always been about you."

I could feel the tears as they began to slide down my face. "What you wanted. The secrets you had to keep. How you think things should have gone. You killed Jedi, you blinded your sister, and the things you did to Tahiri, now I have all those things you did to her floating in my head."

The sorrow over all the things that had happened filled me. The good times we had together a bittersweet memory. I just continued talking, "All the pain, and the secrets. What you did to my parents, to Jysella, to me. What you did to all those Jedi. What you did to Tahiri. It all ends tonight."

"Remember this cousin; I've currently got your parents under the Krath mind control. There they will stay until I allow them out. And we can't forget that revenge is of the Dark Side."

I laughed at him. "This is not revenge. I'm just being pragmatic. That's what a good Jedi is, right? If you are not stopped, then you will do this all over again. You'll hurt someone else as badly as you hurt Tahiri. I can't let that happen. Pragmatism and expediency, those are the traits you wanted the Jedi to cherish above all others. As for my parents, don't you remember what you arranged to be the standing order for the Jedi?"

My voice came out as a harsh, pained whisper. "The Order comes first."

I turned on my lightsaber.


	25. Chapter 25

**Chapter 25**

I shut down my saber and wished Jysella was there to hold me. I needed her presence, her warmth. I craved it. It was when I was sitting there, crying over my dead cousin, who I had just killed, that I realized that once more Tahiri had been right.

She had been right about everything.

I curled up in a ball, there on the floor of the morgue and cried. I cried until I had no more tears.

Finally done with my tears; I sat up and turned towards my parents.

I looked at my parents, who were standing in the same spot they had been in since I tossed the Ooglith Masquer at them. Neither losing an arm, nor Jacen's death had any effect on them. I closed my eyes as I remembered the things Jacen said, about the Krath and about the mind control. I thought about what little Jacen had taught me about the Krath.

I searched the Force, throwing all my power into the attempts to break them from whatever held them. I wanted my parents back, I needed them. Yet I did not want to do what I knew it would take to get them back.

Finally I came to the realization that there was only the one choice if I wanted to get my parents back. Jacen's abilities and powers had far surpassed mine. He had spent years studying arcane Force lore. I even remembered how he had used his abilities to fix a destiny for Aunt Leia.

He had used those skills, what he had learned from those texts on the Krath, to basically turn them into living statues.

I was crying once more, as I placed my hands on each of their foreheads and stretched out with the Force. I probed their bodies, found how they interacted with the Force, how it helped, how it hurt, how it obeyed and how it controlled.

Then armed with that knowledge about them, the Force and the relationship between each of them and the Force, I began the task of retrieving my parents.

As the tears started rolling down my face once more, I ripped those connections away.

I sundered them from that great wellspring of existence.

I stripped them of the Force.

They both gasped and fell to the floor unconscious.

I called some healers to take care of my parents, and then went to sit in the bacta area and watch Jysella as she once again floated in one of the tanks. My thoughts dark. My guilt heavy. My heart nearly broken.

I stayed there for the six days that Jysella remained in the bacta, and when she was moved to her room, I followed.

As soon as the orderlies had left, I kissed her and hugged her tight. I placed my hand on her cheek. "I was so worried."

She gave me that slight smile, and leaned back to go to sleep.

As she slept, she tossed and turned, once more wracked by nightmares. So staying true to my earlier decisions on these things, I climbed into bed and wrapped her in my arms. I kissed the top of the head, and as I held her, her dreams seemed to subside. She twisted around and cuddled closer to me, and I felt my tears as they once again fell, as I drew warmth and comfort from the simple embrace.

While I lay there holding Jysella and she me, my thoughts drifted back to what had happened six days before. I thought about how I had killed Jacen and then stripped my parents of the Force. I wondered how the Order would be able to survive now that my dad no longer had access to the Force. I wondered if there was anyway they would be able to access it again. I wondered if my feelings of guilt and shame would ever leave.

Ultimately, I wondered if they would ever forgive me.

Finally I slept.

I awoke feeling groggy and as if someone had been pounding on my head all night. My back was slightly sore from sleeping in a chair. I opened my eyes and looked towards the bed to see Jysella and noticed that she was gone. In her place were some bits and pieces of a lightsaber.

Then I remembered that I had fallen asleep on the bed holding Jysella.

I glanced at the chrono and horror sunk in with the realization that I had been asleep for nearly thirty hours.

I said more than one of those Correllian words here. In fact it was a string of them that would have made Uncle Han proud and Dad blush.

I searched for Jysella through the Force, but had a hard time picking up on exactly where she was.

And then I felt her. She was being hurt, tortured. Our Force bond transmitted to me every pain, all her fears, and ultimately her rage.

Her feelings of despair and abandonment crushed me.

I could feel it around me, covering me. I tried to help Jysella, I sent her comfort and reassurance, but all I received in return was pain and fear. Her feelings were a cold blanket that was suffocating me.

I felt the Dark Side then, offering me the chance to save her. The Dark Side knew where she was, and I could stop her pain, ease her fears.

I pushed the voice that was offering me this out of my mind and focused on our Force bond. I saw it, a golden string which connected us.

I followed that string.

Night fell, but still I ran on, ignoring everything but the fact that I had to get to Jysella. I could barely feel her now, and this caused my worry to grow even greater.

I ran into the woods, always that string before me. As I ran, I noticed that the string started changing, it got darker, going from that golden light, to more of a dull bronze.

I feared what this might mean, yet still I ran on.

Near midnight, I finally stopped for the night and slept, awakening at dawn, to once more follow the string.

As it neared noon, I cursed my own recklessness, and thought I should have grabbed a speeder bike for this.

Finally I burst into a clearing, and within it sat a blood red Imperial shuttle craft, along with five stormtroopers wearing armor with the same red coloring.

As one, they swung their carbines towards me and began firing.

Yes, it was time for another of those Correllian words, as I dodged and ignited my saber to bat a few of the bolts back towards the troopers.

Then one of them threw a flash grenade at my feet, I turned and jumped back into the woods as it went off.

I was still dazed from the flash but from where I lay, I could feel the tremble in the ground indicating that the shuttle had launched.

I stood up; everything I saw was bleached white, there was a ringing in my ears making me effectively deaf. I could feel the frustration and rage as I could only stand there and watch the shuttle as it flew away.

In my mind, I could hear Lumiya's laughter.

I turned around and began my long walk back to the Jedi Temple.

Back to the _Pulsar Skate_.

There was nothing that was going to keep me away from her.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

I got back to the temple, and headed straight for the _Skate_.

There beside her was my first hurdle to getting Jysella back, Jedi Master Kyp Durron.

As I walked onto the landing field he started walking closer, the anger he wears like a mask coming off of him in waves.

He stopped in front of me and said, "Padawan Skywalker, I would like an explanation of your actions."

I walked around him.

At any other time, I would have probably laughed at the outrage and shock that came off him when I did that, that day, I just did not have it in me.

Master Durron reached out and grabbed me with the Force. "I want some answers!"

I turned on him, and could feel my guard slip a little, letting out some of my anger and frustration. I knew that he had not really done anything deserving of my anger, but at that point my worry and fears overruled my common sense. "We all want something Durron. Now, are you going to get out of my way, or do I have to move you?"

Part of me really itched at seeing what the "Killer of Caridia" could do. I remembered rumors to the effect that he thought himself more powerful Force-wise than my Dad, at least back when my Dad could access the Force.

That dark voice in my head really wanted to see if he held more power than a Skywalker.

That dark voice screamed at me to put him in his place, to hurt him, to make him bleed and scream.

Before I got the chance, a voice of reason interjected. It was Jaina, her dark robes swirling around her, a veil covering her head and the top of her face. "Ben! Kyp! This is not how either of you should be behaving. Now Ben, we just want to know what you did to Uncle Luke and Aunt Mara."

I closed my eyes against the pain as I told them. I told them about returning on the _Skate _and finding Jacen alive. I told them of showing mom and dad the fake body in the morgue. I told them about the discussion with Jacen and Lumiya. I told them of Jacen admitting to doing all those terrible things to Tahiri, and told them how he had shared those vile images with me. I told them about the Krath, and how Jacen used one of their techniques to turn my parents into meaningless puppets. I told them about my fight with Jacen, and that I had killed him.

I could feel the horror that came off them, since it so closely felt like what I still held in my heart.

I told them of stripping the Force from my parents.

And finally I told them of Jysella being taken.

In the Force I could feel the sadness coming from Jaina. "Oh, Ben. I'm so sorry. We'll find her."

I looked at my cousin as I said "I know I will."

I felt Kyp drop his Force hold on me, and I started walking once more towards the _Skate_.

Jaina's voice was filled with pain and concern. "Where are you going?"

"To get Jysella back." I absently wondered when my voice had turned so cold and hard.

As I walked past Jaina, her voice was soft and light. "Ben, beware the Dark Side. Be mindful of what you have been taught. It can save you."

I looked at her and tried my best to not start crying again. "I will."

I then kissed her cheek and said, "You are no longer the 'Sword of the Jedi', now you are Miraluka. Your vision is what will guide the Order through the dark times ahead."

With that said, I walked the rest of the way to the _Skate_, went in and closed the ramp. Even with the ramp closed I could still feel Jaina's confusion at what I had told her, especially because it so mirrored my own confusion.

I didn't know why I had said that.

I didn't even know what a Miraluka was.

Pushing my conversation with Jaina out of my mind, I slipped into the cockpit and started the pre-flight checklist.

I closed my eyes and could see the bright golden string of our Force bond stretching off to the stars.

I launched the _Skate _and put her on a heading following the string. As I reached the point where Lumiya's ship entered hyperspace I pulled the levers making the jump.

I spent days tracking them through hyperspace in that way. My fears and frustrations growing as each day passed.

I would catch occasional glimpses of Jysella, and when I did she was usually in either a great amount of pain or anger beyond anything I had ever seen.

Every time I got a glimpse of her, it was one of those two feelings, except for one time. There was a single glimpse I had of her that was of a different emotion. It was probably an hour after I left Ossus, and her despair flooded me. The thought that came with the feeling was one of abandonment, of being left behind.

Finally, I came out of hyperspace, and saw the string of our bond leading down to the planet's surface. I turned to Whistler and asked him to figure out exactly where we were.

As an Imperial Mark 3 Star Destroyer came over the horizon, I was thankful for the low sensor profile of the _Skate_.

As I got closer to the planet I tried my best to figure out a plan. I did not know what I could do, how I could get to wherever Lumiya was holding Jys. If she could field enough personnel for an Imp 3, then she probably had a good number of people on planet.

I smiled as I had an idea. I would do the same thing my dad did when he faced a Sith.

Again, today I can admit that wasn't a bright decision. Dad turned himself over to face his father. I turned myself over to a Sith with no relation to me. One who barely wanted me for an apprentice, someone to be her version of Lord Vader. And if she could not have me as that, then she wanted me dead. Well, I was still a kid, I'm forgiven.

So I sent power to the engines, and flew down to the planet, following the string.

I first flew over a great canyon. Built into the canyon walls were monuments, the pall of death and the Dark Side surrounding them.

Still following the string, the landscape changed from the blasted, broken rock of the canyons, to a forest, all dark grey and green; twisted and stunted. In the distance there was a large citadel stretching up out of the forest. It was dark and foreboding, the stones that comprised it stained from years of neglect.

It invoked feelings of depression in me just by looking at it.

I flew around the palace, trying to discover the best place to land, and wondered why the automated defenses, and this place had scores of anti-ship turbolasers, had not started firing.

I found a landing platform big enough for the _Skate _that was conveniently empty about half-way up the tallest tower

I shut down the engines, and saw a contingent of red clad stormtroopers come out of the doorway. In the midst of them was someone in a dark cloak.

That feeling of foreboding crashed into me again.

As I walked down the ramp, I turned to Whistler and said, "Whistler, stay here. If anyone but Jysella or myself comes on board, set the self-destruct."

I walked towards the cloaked form, but it just turned away and started walking back into the building.

Not knowing what else to do I followed.


	27. Chapter 27

**Chapter 27**

We arrived at what can only be described as a throne room. It had multiple levels, on the middle of which sat the throne. The dark one walked up the steps, and I continued following. Looking behind me as the doors slammed shut, I noticed that none of the stormtroopers had entered the room.

I looked back to the throne, and noticed the dark cloaked figure lean over to talk to someone. The throne turned to face me, and sitting within it was Lumiya. The cloaked figure stood to the right and behind her.

"Welcome to Korriban Ben."

"Where is she Lumiya? What have you done with her?"

"Now, now Ben, I'm sure your father trained you better than that. Where are your manners?"

My anger got the best of me. "No more games! I have come for Jysella!"

Her laughter drove me over the edge, and I pulled my saber and ignited it with one quick motion. I jumped towards the throne, my blade raised overhead in an effort to strike her down.

I landed and my blade began its swing and connected with a blue saber held horizontally. One that was protecting Lumiya.

My heart sank as I recognized the blade.

I looked over at the girl who was wearing the dark cloak and Jysella stared back at me, her eyes cold and hard. "Jys?"

Lumiya's laughter drew my eyes back to her. "As you can see young Skywalker, Jedi Horn is happy here. I have freed her from the pathetic teachings of your father, freed her to see how corrupt the Jedi Order has become. Freed her to see that the Jedi Order must be destroyed. I have freed her to make her own choices."

Lumiya looked toward Jysella and smiled. "And now my apprentice, would you start the destruction of the Jedi by killing this pathetic excuse for one?"

"Yes, my Master."

I started backing away down the stairs. My confusion pooled around me. My mind was working overdrive on how I could escape with her, while not having to fight her.

Unfortunately, Jysella wasn't going to give me the chance to flee or think.

She jumped at me, her saber swung in a powerful overhead attack, my blade swung up and blocked. The force of her anger staggered me as much as the strength behind the blow.

Slowly I gave ground, always keeping my blade between us. Always defending, never attacking.

Yet every time I blocked her anger just grew.

I probed the Force, and saw our bond, our connection, was no longer a bright golden string connecting us. Now it was twisted and blackened where it emerged from her, running from that black to bronze and finally to gold where it attached to me.

I despaired.

Still we circled around the platforms and steps; I always gave ground, always fell back. Still defending. I just could not bring myself to attack her.

Yet every time I failed to exploit an opening, every time I failed to end the fight at the cost of her life, her anger just grew.

And so did my despair.

Slowly she drove me to one of the upper platforms. Of course I say platform in the loosest sense of the word possible, it was more of a really wide girder, with a rail on one side, than anything else.

As I deflected her blade once again, her foot swung out and caught me in the chest, knocking me over the edge. I used the Force to ensure I landed on my feet and shut down my saber.

After that I slipped into the shadows. Hiding, trying to give myself time to think.

I used the Force to throw my voice, as I said "I don't want to fight you Jys. Please, let's just go home."

I watch her movements as she slowly stalks down the stairs, her actions, her being, that of a predatory feline. "That time has passed. Now you must fight, or die."

I felt my tears as they began their slow trip down my face.

From somewhere above us came Lumiya's laughter and voice. "Yes, yes give in to your despair. Let it drive your anger, give you power."

I wondered if she was talking to me or to Jysella.

I sunk to my knees, my guilt and despair overpowering me.

I felt a warning through the Force, and I was moving, rolling, as Jysella's saber smashed into the floor where I had just been.

Even the bright yellow of the molten stone from her saber slash seemed depressing to me.

I felt Jysella pull the Force to herself, but was still caught entirely unprepared for the blast of lightning that she sent at me. It propelled me into one of the supports for the platforms overhead, and I could hear the echoes of my screams.

I slowly stood as she came on. I ignited my saber at the last instant to catch her blade.

As we stood close together, her blade slowly pushing mine nearer and nearer my skin, I noticed that she was still wearing the Japor icon.

I tilted my blade, and slid out from against the beam I was pressed against, and for the first time I attacked, I twisted around, and knocked Jysella's feet out from under her with my leg.

I cringed as I could feel Jysella's pain flash through our bond.

I backed away, putting room between us.

Her anger bubbled over at the fact that I did not take advantage of her lying on the ground defenseless. "What? Am I not worthy to fight you Skywalker? I'm just a weak little Horn huh? Just someone else for the great and mighty Skywalker to protect and save."

"No Jys, that's not it at all. I don't want to fight you."

"Fight me, you kriffing schutta!"

"No."

I remembered my dream. Of Anakin's questions on if lightsaber fighting was the only thing I knew. I realized that I knew, beyond a shadow of a doubt, something else. I knew Tahiri was right.

I turned off my saber and attached it to my belt.

She was upon me in a second. Her saber hovered next to my throat, as I just looked at her.

I opened myself to the Force, pouring all my love and affection and desire for Jysella through our Force bond.

"I don't think you're weak. I love you Jysella, I cannot fight you because of that, not some random concept that Lumiya taught you. I don't need to protect and save you, because you saved me."

Her face was covered in shadows, both literally and figuratively. I just kept force feeding my emotions for her to our Force bond.

"Tahiri was right you know. The guy who gave her that Japor icon thought it a symbol of love. He thought he loved her, when he gave it to her. He was wrong, and she was right. She was right about so many things. The icon belongs to you, as does that love. In fact the icon has always been about love. It started out representing my grandfather's love for my grandmother, and now, now it's a token of my love for you."

I noticed that her saber had picked up a slight wobble as I spoke, which served to bring it ever closer to my throat.

"Lumiya said you were free to choose. Well so am I. I have chosen to love you, if that love costs me my life, then so be it. Now, what do you choose?"


	28. Chapter 28

**Chapter 28**

I let out a breath I did not know I had been holding when Jys shut down her saber. She sank to her knees, and started to cry.

I knelt in front of her, and drew her close, and kissed her. After we parted, I held her face in my hands, and looked into her eyes. They were filled with pain, sorrow, and worry; I stroked her hair and kissed her again. Then I told her once more, "I really do love you."

Then she said those words that I had been longing to hear ever since Tatooine. "And I love you."

Actually, let us be honest, I had been longing to hear that particular sentence, or some permutation of it, ever since the picnic I took her on.

We kissed. Our eyes were closed, our senses focused solely on the other. It was a great kiss.

And then she screamed in pain.

My eyes shot open, and behind Jysella stood Lumiya, holding a whip of all things, an angry scowl covering her face. "You have disappointed me my apprentice. Now you both shall die."

As Lumiya drew her whip back to strike Jysella again, I jumped up and tackled her. In the Force I could feel the pain Jysella was in, and it was driving me on, burning anything resembling caution from my mind.

As we landed, I drew back my fist and hit her on the side, right above where her kidneys should have been. My hand collided with steel-weave, breaking at least one knuckle.

She kicked me off her, and I touched the Force to allow me to flip around and land on my feet, with my saber ignited.

Lumiya smiled at me, and then did something to her whip, which bathed it in the coherent light of a lightsaber blade.

It was again time for one of those Corellian words; I just didn't know it yet.

With a flourish, she sent the whip at me, I tried to deflect it the way I would a saber blade, but the whip wrapped around my blade, and she tugged nearly pulling my saber away from me. I shut down my saber so that it would get disentangled and then re-ignited it.

I was trying my best to figure out how exactly I was going to be able to beat her.

I was drawing a blank.

I slipped into the Force, reacting, trying to get Lumiya within range of my blade, not able to due to the length the lightwhip gave her.

The result of all that was me jumping around the various platforms. Lumiya was always a step behind me, her lightwhip taking chunks out of the floors and pillars near where I had been moments before.

If I ever attempted to deflect or block the whip, it simply wrapped itself around my blade and she would try her best to yank my saber from me.

After her third or forth attempt at disarming me, I just kept my saber off, intending to ignite it if and when I was in a position to do so.

Finally, Lumiya outguessed me, and her whip was snapping in right where I was landing. Luckily, it was just a little shy of being able to bisect me, and merely left me with a wound running across my upper chest. And that wound burned.

I was just a little slower from that point on, her whip was able to land nearer and nearer to me every time, yet I was kept out of range for my saber.

The entire time this was happening, her laughter echoed throughout the throne room.

And I still had no idea how I was going to beat her.

"I grow weary of this Ben. Come face your destiny, or shall I go ahead and kill my wayward apprentice first?"

I stopped jumping and turned towards her, and saw the lightwhip snapping up towards my face.

I tossed my head back, trying to get it out of the range of the whip, but it still scored me, I could feel a burn going from my chin to my temple.

Lumiya laughed once again. "Your compassion for her is your weakness."

"Call it what you will, but my love for Jysella is anything but a weakness."

With that said, I rushed Lumiya. I had finally thought of a plan.

Yes I had thought of a plan, but it was one that would require a sacrifice. One I needed to implement, before reason and sanity interjected themselves into my thought processes once again.

Her lightwhip snapped out, and I threw my left arm up and let the whip wrap around that.

I later asked my dad how it felt to have a hand chopped off by a lightsaber. He said it was a quick thing, over almost before he realized it was happening. That the saber had sliced through his arm, as if it was not there. The shock and pain came after the fact.

Lumiya's lightwhip did not work that way.

Maybe it had to do with the solid core of her weapon, but at first my arm resisted the cut. It burned, don't get me wrong, the pain was excruciating, but it did not want to make the cut. It was wrapped two or three times around my arm, slowly cutting into it, but it was mainly just hurting. It was only when Lumiya yanked back on the whip that the lower quarter of my arm came off.

I nearly stumbled. I could see the edges of my vision going black. I felt the vomit burning in the back of my throat. I could feel my jaws aching as I clenched them shut tight, holding in my screams of pain. I knew I was going into shock.

I also knew that I had her in my range, and Lumiya's whip was still behind her from when she had pulled. She was effectively defenseless at that moment.

As I was pulling my saber I crashed into Lumiya again, as she was closer than my tunnel vision had led me to believe, and we went tumbling off the platform we were on, down to the bottom level.

Before she had a chance to recover from the shock of the fall, I placed my saber right above where her kidneys should have been and activated it, pulling the saber up through her body and out through her head.

I sliced through armor, electronics and finally through flesh.

Her death released an explosion of dark side energies, pulsing out, pushing me off her and throwing me halfway across the room.

I landed and rolled a few times, somewhat surprised to not hear something break this time. Then I finally let out the scream I had been holding in since part of my arm was removed.

I clutched the remains of my arm tight against my chest, as the darkness at the edges of my vision continued to creep in.

The last thing I saw before the darkness overtook me was Jysella leaning over me, with fear and worry in her beautiful eyes. In the distance I could hear a whispered voice say "Please stay with me."


	29. Epilogue

**Epilogue**

I awoke to a feeling of warmth and security. A comforting weight pressed tight against me. The smell of strawberries and honey filled my nose.

I felt at peace, like I had finally come home.

I looked down, and saw the top of Jysella's head, her hair spread out over me once again. I looked around and realized that I was in a room in the med center on Ossus.

I clung to her tighter and fell back to sleep. As I slept, I did not dream.

When next I awoke, my father was there. His hair disheveled his eyes bloodshot; I noticed that he had already been fitted with a new arm. I told him I was sorry. He told me he loved me, and always would. I leaned back in my bed, my guilt over what I had done to him still weighing heavily upon me. He sat there for hours, not speaking, barely moving, just watching me. Then as the orderly came around serving lunch, he got up and left.

I almost cried at how broken he looked.

Later that day, my mom came to visit. She looked as bad off as dad did. I told her I was sorry, that I wished I could have saved them some other way. She smiled at me, and told me she was proud of me. I noticed a single tear roll down her cheek. Then she got up and fled the room.

That did make me cry. My mom showed a weakness, probably one of a handful of times that I had seen it during my life. And I caused it.

I slept. I awoke.

The healers came and fitted me with a new forearm and hand. It was one of the biomedical cybernetic prosthesis, similar to the one that my parents had.

Once more, I slept and then awoke.

This time there was no one there. I felt a wrongness, like I was missing something, and deep down I knew what it was that I was missing. I couldn't smell the strawberries and honey. I wanted to awaken to that smell, and this morning I didn't.

I got up and wandered around the room for a bit. I stopped and looked out the window. From it, I could see the _Pulsar Skate_, and noticed some activity near her.

I quickly got dressed, snuck out of the med center and went over to the _Skate_. I watched as Jysella carried a box into the hold. As she walked back down, she saw me and gave me a smile. She was almost shy as she said "Hey Ben."

"What are you doing?"

She wouldn't look at me. "I'm leaving Ossus. There's just too many memories, too much has happened. I, I can't stay here. Master Skywalker said I would be welcome to return at anytime, but right now, I just can't be here."

I merely said "Oh."

She once more started loading the supplies onto the _Skate_. I helped her. A small part of me dying with each box we took aboard.

Too soon, we were done. I looked at her, and finally noticed that she was dressed more like her mother used to, than like a Jedi. The form fitting pants, a short-sleeved tunic that clung to her when she moved.

Frankly, I liked it that way.

I wanted to be smooth like Uncle Han, but I knew I just have too much of my father in me to effectively pull it off at times like these. So I went with farm boy sincerity. "I was serious about what I said on Korriban. I love you."

She looked at me, the tears there in her eyes. "I know, I meant what I said too."

"You're still leaving?"

She just nodded her head in an affirmative motion, and turned around and walked up the ramp.

She stopped at the top, and turned to look at me, once more biting her lower lip. Then she gave me her smile. Her real smile. The one that brightens her eyes. "So you coming or not?"

I smiled at her in return, feeling my emotions start to soar and I started up the ramp. "Of course, I was merely waiting for you to ask."


End file.
